Jumpin' Jehosaphat! Chapter One

A continuation of Guns Don't Kill People, Bullets Do!


[Jon Phillips]      [Title: Jumpin' Jehosaphat! pt. 1 ]

   The party dispersed quickly in shock and amazement, leaving our intrepid
group alone to plan the next step of action.
Jocko smiled baring his teeth, not a pretty sight.
   "Look!" exclaimed John. "Ophelia's camera."
   "It's almost as if she just disappeared from the face of the earth," said
Jon, looking at where she had been standing.
   "Not completely," replied R/C, pointing to a tile in the ceiling that was
slightly ajar.
   "Well, lets get to it," quoted John, reaching up and pushing the tile
aside. Through the opening in the ceiling was a small pathway. Everyone
crawled along, Jon was leading the way.
   "AGH!" screamed Jon, falling.
   "AGH!" screamed Gretchen, falling because Lady Mozart had bumped into her
from behind.
   "Whoa!" said Lady Mozart.
   R/C bumped into her anyway.
   "AGH!" screamed Lady Mozart, following Jon and Gretchen in suit.
   "Are you all okay!?" screamed R/C down the hole.
   R/C heard Jon cursing.
   "They're ok," snickered R/C.
   "What's down here?" called John.
   "Not much," replied Lady Mozart. "But somebody's been living down here."
   "And from the looks of it, it was the Villain," finished Gretchen.
   "Going down?" quipped R/C, jumping down the hole, snickering.
   "OHF!" said Jon when R/C landed on him.
   "Hey thanks for breaking my fall," said R/C.
   "I'll break your neck!" screamed Jon, lunging at R/C.
   "Egad, he intends me bodily harm," snickered R/C hiding, behind Lady
Mozart.
   Gretchen rolled her eyes and sighed.


   Hamlet paced the hall in an upset manner.
   "Good day Hamlet," said a voice from the shadows.
   "Who goes there?" questioned Hamlet.
   "Ah, my name is not important, the surrender of Castle Elsinore, and Lady
Ophelia's life are, though," said the Villain, stepping from the shadows.
   "Fiend!" exclaimed Hamlet.

[Nitro]             [Title: pt.2 ]

   "Who are you?" Asked R/C
   "Why are you doing this?" Asked John
   "Because I want revenge!! Hahahaha!!" exclaimed The Villain.
   "From what? What did anyone do to you?" Said Gretchen

   The Villain disappeared.... And the group was left with a mystery...They
noticed a trap door under some junk...

   "Look at this! It looks like a trap door!" Said Jon.
   "Give me the flashlight gretchen.....I'm going down," said R/C.
   He walked down the stairs.... He noticed that there was a secret tunnel of
some sort.
   "Hey guys, there is a tunnel down here!" exclaimed R/C
   They followed each other down the stairs...Gretchen slipped and knocked
down John, and hit Jon and hit Nitro...
   "Watch out below!" yelled Gretchen
   "Thptptptptp!" Said John when gretchen hit him....
   "Hey....Bammmmm!!!!" went everyone
   "What's wrong with you guys? Foot problems?"

[Captain R/C]       [Title: Jumpin Jehosofats p.3 ]

   Down the slippery steps below the castle Elsinore, R/C was making his way
down the dark hallway by way of candlelight(Flashlights were too modern for a
castle).  It seemed like a mile before the hallway emptied into a small
ancient chamber.  The smell of death was in the air and the air was dense.
Drips of water could be heard far in the distance. The walls were slick and
slimy from the algae that grew on them. In the room there was a small bed
showing signs of recent use. Next to the bed was an old dusty desk with some
of the dust disturbed. Under the desk was an old diary that read:  "Today I
think the palace guards are closing in on me. This will most probably be the
last entry because I fear they have found my hiding...."
   "This chamber must have been built long ago to escape capture," said Elmo.
   "But the bed has been used!!" said R/C, "I'll give you one guess as to who
used it."
   "Hamlet??" said Jocko.
   "Rosenscratz??" said Flip.
   "NO...it must be the Villain's secret hiding place...look, there's the
paper he has been writing all the mail on," said Jon.
   "I wonder where he is now....uh-oh! I hear footsteps!! Quick! Hide!" said
R/C as he ran under the bed.
   The group hid as best they could as they all listened silently to the
approaching footsteps.

[Jocko]             [Title: pt #4 ]

   The footsteps grew nearer and their' pulses raced higher.
   It was quite crowded under the bed seeing how there were about ten people
there. The Villain's boots showed in the dim light. Jocko almost blew it
when he started to laugh and say,
   "Hey, those boots look like some f*g's or something." Jon elbowed him in
the stomach. Although everyone had to agree that the heels on those boots
were quite effeminate.
    The Villain sat to write in his/her ledger.  He quietly said aloud to
himself what he was writing..."People after me...teenagers most of them...not
too worried...they're just always in the way!  But, they'll never find
Ophelia...not where I've got her...not in..."
    Then there was a loud banging from above and the Villain slammed shut
the ledger and ran from the room.  R/C, Jon, and John all stood quickly to
pursue, but that was a little foolish, because they were under a bed.  Jocko
crawled out and said, "Well, let's follow him!"
    The group set out following the faint sounds of high-heeled boots.

[Captain R/C]       [Title: part 5 ]

    Jocko headed up the chase followed by Jon and R/C.  The rest just quickly
followed them.  They ran and ran until they could run no further. The
footsteps were no longer in hearing range. Gretchen, Elmo and everyone else
caught up and they proceeded to exit the secret hall.
    At the end of the tunnel they exited into the courtyard. A guard stationed
there walked up to them.
   "Halt!!  By heaven I charge thee speak!  If though as any sound  or use of
voice, tell me thy name!!" ordered the guard.
   "Captain R/C, " said Captain R/C. "This is Jon Phillips, the Flip, Lady
Mozart, Gretchen...."
   "Yes sirs, I know of thy noble deeds.  I am sorry if I have taken thy time.
Is there anything I can help thee with??  Are you rescuing Ophelia??"
   "Yes good guard.  Did you see a strange man wearing strange boots??" asked
Gretchen.
   "Yes.  He went that-away," said the guard.
   "Thank you," said Gretchen, as she lead the way through the battlements.
   They made their way through the battlements unto the parchment boxes where
Rosenscratz greeted them.
   "Is there a Jon here??" asked Rosenscratz, "I have a parchment for him."
   "I am here."
   "This parchment is from an unknown source.  It reads: 'You had better stop
the futile search.  Lady Ophelia is mine!!'"
   "It must be the Villain," said Jon.
   They made there way on to Multi-chat.  Here they saw several people talking
through a strange mouthpiece and listening through an earpiece.
   "Hmm...I shall have to try this sometime..." said Jocko.
   They followed a hall that lead them to the Cloister.
   "Back to square one!!" said R/C, in a disappointed way.

[Jocko]             [Title: What is this 6 already?! ]

   Just when they were about to give up all hope, McFeely from the
Neighborhood rode up huffing and puffing.
   "Boy, I've never rode this far before!  Here John it's a special speedy
delivery for you,"  said McFeely, handing John a box before pedaling off.
   John opened the box.  "Oh boy," he exclaimed, "We'll surely catch the
Villain now...it's my Super Spy Glow in the Dark Know-it-all Wrist Watch. 
This thing can do anything."
   "All right!" yelled Jocko, "We've got him for sure now!  Or is it her?
Oh never mind...tell it to find the Villain, John."
   John burst into tears.  "What's wrong, John?" asked Gretchen. "Not
that I really care or anything, you chauvinistic little...oh excuse me...Huh
baby, what's the matter?"
   "It doesn't have instructions!"
   Everyone proceeded to pummel John. Then, they stepped on him on their
way to pursue the big meanie.

[Jon Phillips]      [Title: Jumpin' Jehoshaphat pt. 7 ]

   "Well, it looks like we lost him, er, her, whatever," murmured Jocko.
   Jon shrugged his shoulders.
   John let out another cry after discovering not only did his super-spy-
detector not come with instructions, but it didn't come with batteries
either, and he had to wait at least seven hundred years til someone gets
around to inventing Watch batteries.
   "Has anyone seen Hamlet?" asked R/C.
   Silence.
   "Great, not only did we lose the Villain, but now we're losing half of
Elsinore's staff," said Nitro, throwing his arms into the air.
   "I know, lets ask the wisest two men in the castle," said Sting.
   Jocko's chest swelled as he began to open his mouth.
   "You mean Sir McHan, and the mage Dr. Bob?" said Flip.
   Jocko shut his mouth.
   "Yes," replied Sting..
   "Well, let us find Sir McHan," said Gretchen.

   After searching most of the castle, referring to some of the residents, and
the guards, they found Sir McHan, Knight of the red red rose, working on the
drawbridge, with his daughter, Princess Amy, who was standing beside him
faithfully, but apparantly impatiently.
   "Sire McHan, have you seen Hamlet recently?" questioned Lady Mozart.
   "No I have not," replied Sir McHan.
   "Well then, where would be the best place to hide someone in the castle?"
asked Gretchen.
   "I am sorry my dear, but they are far too numerous to name, perhaps you
could speak with mage Dr. Bob," replied Sir Mchan.
   "Thank you," replied the entire group.
   In the deep recesses of Castle Elsinore, there is a room, people come there
for advise, for it is where Dr. Bob resides, Dr. Bob is like unto the castles
mage, alchemist, and oracle, though he has had his bad luck in the past (A
touch of lycanthropy which turns him into an olde greywolfe).
   John approached the door and stopped, R/C bumped into him.
   "What's with you?" asked R/C.
   "Look," replied John, pointing at the door.
   A sign on the door read 'GO AWAY!'..
   R/C glanced at Jon.
   Jon shrugged his shoulders.
   R/C knocked on the door.
   "Go Away!" shouted a voice behind the door.

[Jon Phillips]      [Title: Jumpin' Jeosaphat pt 8 ]

   "Go away!" screamed a voice from behind the door.
   R/C paused and looked back at the rest of the group.
   The group shrugged at him for the most part.
   "Try again," said Nitro.
   R/C knocked on the door once again.
   A crash was heard from behind the door, and then mumbling and footsteps
approaching the door.
   The door swung open a small bit and a man peeked out.
   "Excuse me --" began R/C.
   "Go away, can't you see that I'm busy? And I'm waiting on eight adventurers
to come and council with me about the whereabouts of Lady Ophelia," said the
man very very rapidly. "Make an appointment with my secretary, and come back
after they have been here." With this he slammed the door shut.
   "But..." said R/C turning away.
   "Now what?" asked R/C
   The door swung open again.
   "Ah, took you long enough to get here, come in, come in!" said the man.
   R/C heaved a confused sigh and walked in, the rest of the group followed in
suit.
   The room was filled with hundreds of books, in no order whatsoever,
counters covered with glassware filled with various colored liquids, both
boiling and frozen almost as molasses, and a large caldron in the middle of
the room.
   "Do you know where Hamlet is?" asked Lady Mozart.
   "Uh," said Dr. Bob thoughtfully. "No."
   "Do you know where lady Ophelia is?" asked Nitro.
   "Uh," said Dr, Bob thoughtfully. "No."
   "Do you know where the Villain is?" asked Jocko
   "Uh," said Dr. Bob thoughtfully. "No."
   Everyone looked at each other in frustration.
   "What's in the pot?" asked Sting, looking in the cauldron. "Smells great."
   "Uh," said Dr. Bob thoughtfully. "My laundry."
   "Ew!" said Gretchen.
   "Well, what can you tell us," asked Jon.
   "Uh," said Dr. Bob thoughtfully. "Ophelia is unharmed, and no longer
within the castle walls."

[Jocko]             [Title: part whatever ]

   "Thanx a whole heap, you old goat!" yelled Jocko.
   "Okay you little frog," said Dr. Bob as he waved his right hand...

                                <----POOF====>
   Jocko croaked a few times then proceeded to hop around the room.
   "Oh I can't leave him like that" said Dr. Bob as he once again waved his
hand...
                                <----POOF====>

   And Jocko became a mule. "There, much more fitting," murmured the sage.
"Now not only does he act like one, he is one. And, you get a mode of
transport to boot."

   As much of the group as could fit mounted Jocko after they left the castle
and headed east as the Dr. had told them. They rode off in glory as Jocko left
some refuse on the drawbridge.

[John Johnson]

(Jocko and Jon....what a cool story you two are writing.....and
everyone....notice how R/C is leaving me out! I say we have a R/C boycott, at
least for a little while!)

   As they continued to head east, they hit the beach and saw a huge,
magnificent resort ahead of them. "Sheesh, its hot!" exclaimed Jocko as he
looked at his pocket thermometer (no batteries needed for this jewel...) and
saw that it read 120 degrees. So he said, "Let's stop at this resort and take
a break." As they all walked up to the entrance, they met a homely looking
bell-hop who was wearing a name tag saying STONER on it. He greeted them and
took in their luggage.
(editor's note: the group ditched R/C on the way there....they all locked him
in a outhouse they found along the way and then flipped it over!).
    So they all entered the resort and then saw......

[Captain R/C]       [Title: part (whatever the last one was + 1) ]

  (R/C formerly appologizes but for some reason or other I...er...he thought
that John and Jon were the same person.  I never read who has left the
messages)

   It was a big resort, elegant with fine shrubbery and surrounded by trees.
There was a wall around the resort to keep out invaders and rats. Beside the
front gate a sign read, "Private Resort of Lord Corwin--entrance is forbidden
to everyone."
   "This is not the place...The Villain wouldn't last two minutes in there!"
said John Johnson.
   "We are almost at Amy's Crystal Palace!! The Villain must be hungry and ten
to one odds he is going there! They have the best food in all the land," said
Jon.
   When Jocko heard the word 'FOOD' he poofed back into Jocko.  "BOY! am I
hungry...you don't know how heavy ya'll can get!"
   They walked for close to an hour before they collapsed and crawled. They
finally reached the Palace gates where Main Frame was waiting for them.
   "Ah... come this way. I have heard that Lady Ophelia has been kidnaped!!
Perhaps I have some information that may aid thee. A strange man and a women
came on horseback today. The women was struggling and was trying to talk. It
sounded like she had a gag on. The man turned away when I looked at him.
The women dropped this piece of paper. It says, 'Villain's castle.'"
   "Thank You," said R/C.

[Jon Phillips]      [Title: Jumpin' Jeoshaphat pt. 11 ]

   "Who goes there!" cried a voice.
   "It's me, you fool!" screamed a voice back from the darkness.
   "Oh, duh, sorry boss," said Eugene the guard, who began lowering the
drawbridge.
   "Here, guards, take take Lady Ophelia and make her completely comfortable
in her cell!" said the Villain.
   Some of the guards carried Ophelia away as the Villain turned his horse in
the opposite direction.
   "Duh, where ya goin' boss," asked the other guard left standing, whose name
was Nunzio.
   "To cover my tracks, and lead those unsuspecting fools away from here and
to the caverns of doom," retorted the Villain.
   "Oh," said Nunzio the guard as intelligently as possible.
   "Do not open the drawbridge for anyone except me, do you understand that
you mental genetic throwback?" roared the Villain.
   Nunzio and Eugene shook their heads up and down violently.
   "Good," said the Villain riding off.


Meanwhile.....


   "Oh my feet," complained Flip.
   "Oh shut up," said John, thinking the same thing.
   "Why did we have to leave the resort so soon?" asked Nitro.
   "To save the day....." murmured Lady Mozart.
   Several miles later the road forked, either direction looked equally
forboding.
   "Which way did he go?" asked R/C.
   Jocko examined the tracks on the ground carefully, and consulted his Junior
Woodchucks Guide(TM) before he answered.
   "That way, towards  the caverns," said Jocko.
   "Caverns?" said Jon raising an eyebrow, and paying attention for a change.
   "Yeah," said R/C. "What's the worst that could happen?"
   "We could die," responded Jon.
   "See it isn't as bad as it sounds," quipped R/C.
   "Well let's go," announced Gretchen rather suddenly, startling the entire
group as she headed down the path, towards the cavern.
   Jon shrugged his shoulders and took off running behind her.
   The rest of the group followed in suit.


   "I'm sure my friend and associate who resides here will be more than happy
to help me," murmured the Villain as he entered the cavern.


   The darkness of the night dimmed the forrest to pitch black, not even the
stars or moon showed through, and as if predicted by the gods, R/C tripped.
   "(Censored) roots!" said R/C.

[Jocko]             [Title: Why's it Jumpin' Jeoshaphat anyway?! ]

   The group was lurking in the murky dark while the Villain was working and
learning how to persuade his friend to help him. (Like the assonance?!)

   The Villain talked to his associate and got him to do the dirty work for
him. He paid the scoundrel and was off.

   The group heard a 'thud-thud-thud-thud' sound behind them so they turned
around. They saw an above average size man hopping .s

[Jocko]             [J.J part 12 cont. ]

(sorry about that)
...towards them on a pogo stick with a razor blade on the bottom.
   "Oh no!!" yelled Jocko, "It's the Jumping Jehosaphat!!!!!!!"

[Captain R/C]       [Title: the Jumping Jeoshaphat?!!? ]

(Oh please...that was certainly out of the ordinary, we could have used you
about a month ago!!)

   "Jumpin' Jehosophats, Batman...er,  Jon," said John. "What will we do??"
   "Run??" said Gretchen thoughtfully and calmly.
   Everyone thought about it, consulted each other, thought some more and took
off into the dark blackness of the night. "Shucks!! Why are people so
afraid!! Don't they realize that they no longer have to go out in the yard
with a pair of scissors and cut the grass?? I would have saved them five hours
work!!" said Jehosaphat.
(for the people that don't know what he has invented, it's a lawnmower)

    The night grew colder as the group walked on. Owls hooted in the
distance, the trees rustled with the wind. Jon began thinking about why the
horse tracks had only four footprints when it took two horses at ACP. "Hey
Guys??"
   "Yeah Jon?"said Flip.
   "What would you do if I told you that we spent half the night on the wrong
trail??"
   "We might hang you by your little toe from a tree," said John.
   "Then I won't tell you," said Jon.
   "Good," said Jocko.
   "Wait!!  Are we on the wrong trail??" asked R/C.
   "Well, At ACP, Main Frame said there were two horses, right?"
   "Yeah."
   "We are only following one horse's tracks!! We have been tricked!" announced
Jon.
   "Quick! You grab him and I'll tie his toe to that..." began John.
   "Wait..." said Lady Mozart, "It's not his fault. Well just have to turn
around."
   "I think we all need a good night's sleep. Let's camp under the stars," said
Flip.

[Jocko]             [Title: However, ]

   It was soooooooooooo dark that the stars were scared and left. The group
camped under the utter blackness. Not one person could see the nose on
his/her (I'm no sexist) face. Gretchen slapped Jocko."I was just trying to
get that bug off you, honest!"
   He caught a nice punch to the stomach.
   The morning came and not a moment too soon, because on top of a
distant hill they saw two horses riding off. They all knew it was the
Villain with Ophelia.
   Jon said, "Oh,great! How are we ever gonna catch them? They're on horse
back and we're on foot."
   A feeling of defeat washed over the group, and they all went, "hrumph"
at the same time, causing several small plants to die from sorrow.
   "Hey, chin up," said Sting. "If we keep up a steady pace, they shouldn't
get too far ahead!"
   "Yeah, and I'm a giant Condor," said Jocko.


                                <----POOF====>

   Instantly he was. "Guess that spell the Doc through at him is still
in effect," stated John. "Nobody mention any more animals."
   They took advantage of the situation and once again used Jocko for
transport. Everyone climbed on and he flapped his wings, and soon they were
airborn.....

[Jon Phillips]      [Title: Jumpin' Jehoshaphat pt 16 ]

   "Now this is more like it," said Nitro, looking down on the landscape.
    "Look, there below us," said R/C. "An extinct volcano."
    "Well I'll be a monkeys' uncle," said John.
    Jocko suddenly had a desire for banana's.
    "Agh!" screamed Flip falling.
    In fact most of the group said the the same thing, except Jon who uttered
a word not printable on this board.
    "So this is it!" screamed R/C. "We're going to die!"
    Fortunately, they landed in the soft ash in the volcanoe's cone, and began
to slide downward into a tunnel which had been a lava vent in the past. The
vent spiraled downward, deeper and deeper they went until they slowed to a stop
very very deep within the extinct volcano.
   "I feel sick," said Flip shortly before he passed out.
   Jon got up and looked where they had come from.
   "Well, we can't climb out that way. It's too slick and steep," groaned Jon,
sliding down against a wall.
   (*poof*)
   Jocko turned from a monkey back to himself, for the spell had finally,
and completely worn off.
   "Well, we better start working on getting out of here, these tunnels can go
on for miles," said R/C, picking himself up and dusting himself off.
   The group set off through the twisting tunnels. Stalactites and stalagmites
stood as an ever denial of time. Echos reverberated all around them, everything
was fine til they ran across...
   "A skeleton, AGH!" screamed Lady Mozart.
   "Let's hope we're luckier than he was," said Jocko.
   "I wonder what happened to him?" questioned Nitro to no-one in particular.
There was a gentle but unnerving roar from up ahead.
   "Me and my big mouth," said Nitro, slapping his forehead with the palm of
his hand."
   "Shhh," shhhed Gretchen. "We need to know what it is, go ahead Jon."
   Jon turned around with an eyebrow raised and stammering. "Um, but, er, ah,
ok," stammered Jon, turning back away with the rest of the group close behind
him.
   The tunnel ended in a large cavern, which by chance happened to be a small
part of the caverns of doom, within the cavern sat an Ogre who was happily
polishing off his meal, whoever it had been.
   "I no longer like this," said Jocko turning around.
   "Sheesh, it's gotta be at least twenty-five feet tall," said John.
   "This is not good," said R/C, pressing his back against the wall.
   "Maybe we can trick it," said Jon hopefully.
   "They probably tried that too," whispered Gretchen pointing at a large pile
of stark white bones.
   "We could always wait til it goes to sleep," suggested Lady Mozart.
   "So we wait," said Nitro sitting down.
   Hours later the creature nodded it's head, and began snoring.
   "Now," said R/C. "Quick."
   The group began running across the large cavern to the next set of tunnels.
   "Ah," said Flip as they ran
   "What?" asked Jon.
   "Ah," said Flip as they ran
   "What?" said R/C.
   "Ah," said Flip as they ran.
   "What already?" said Nitro.
   "AH-AH-CHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" sneezed Flip very loudly.
   Standing in the middle of the cavern, our group heard a familiar roar.
   "Oh," said Jon, followed by the same word which he had said earlier that we
still can't write.

[Jocko]             [Title: yeah yeah yeah part somethin' ]

   Of course you know, though, that a human sneeze sounds just like the
Ogre's mating call. The Ogre stood, and in three quick strides was up with the
group with a silly smile on his face. "Who uv yu sneeze pleeze?" queried the
monster. Flip slowly raised his hand. "Yu not too cute that fall down my
chute. Hmmmm... Cave is wide take yu for bride!" 
   The ogre snatched up Flip and walked back to his abode. "Now what?"
demanded R/C.
   "I say we go on with the quest," said Jocko, "After all, who's more
important... Ophelia or Flip."
   "But, we can't just leave him here," added John who had wet his pants
several times by now.
   "Yeah, we have to get him," said Gretchen who was ready to punch
anyone who disagreed. So, the group started planning how to get Flip back
from the ogre.

[Captain R/C]       [Title: Who knows. ]

  "Hmmm," said R/C as he look at Gretchen.
  "Hmmm," said Gretchen as she looked at John.
  "Hmmm," said John as he looked at Jocko.
  "Hmmm," said Jocko as he looked at Elmo.
  "Hmmm," said Elmo as she looked at R/C.
  "Hmmm," said the writer who is thinking of who he has left out.
  "We had better follow him," said Elmo to R/C who quickly agreed.
  The intrepid group bravely set off in the direction the Ogre had left.
Around the corner, the Ogre sat holding Flip very tightly in his arms. Flip
had a great look of unhappiness until he saw John peek his head around the
corner, followed by R/C's head right below him, and Elmo's below his.. and so
on and so forth.
  "Ok..." whispered R/C, "I'm going to try a fake sneeze... the ogre will come
and we all jump on him..... AYAAA-CHEEEWW"
  "Vat for yu do? yu ful. Dat sneeze did not pleez," said the Ogre without
even looking in the direction of the sneeze.
  Just then a lady -- or at least it appeared to be a lady -- ogre came around
the other end of the cavern. She said, "come over here, you have nothing to
fear! Aah-Choooo!"
  "Ohhh!" said the Ogre. "I'm not that slow! Get outa here you ugly ogre!" he
continued to say to Flip when he dropped him on the floor.  The Ogres went out
the other side of the cavern. Flip got up and walked to the side where Jon
and the group where. Jon opened his Junior Woodchucks Guidebook(tm) and stuck
his finger in the air. "It says, 'When in a cave go in the direction of the
wind.'  That is... That-away-->"
   After walking for near an hour, they came to a small opening big enough for
one person at a time. R/C said, "Jon, you go first...you discovered it!" Jon
squeezed through and saw a rather new looking building made of wood but of
very good construction. He noticed two horses outside. "You'll never believe
me if I told you that we might have found lady Ophelia!!"

[John Johnson]

(Captain R/C....ok you're forgiven! See LM, I knew there had to be a logical
reason for it! Neener Neener Neener to you...hehehehe)

(Oh, I'd add to the story now...but I'm gonna be gone for 10 days....and I'd
probably never what happend after it!)

[John Johnson]

(that's never see what happend.....)

[Jocko]             [Title: purdidle ]

   Jocko looked through the hole, and saw the fortress. "That doesn't look
too bad," he said.
   Everyone summarily came through the opening and sized up the situation. The
walls of the fortress weren't too incredibly high, about twelve feet. And
there didn't seem to be any weapon holes to look out for.  All in all, it
looked like a push-over.
   Jon said, "Why don't we just go in and pulverize them...excluding of course
Lady Ophelia."
   "Seems quiet," said R/C, "too quiet."
   A faint Westernish whistle could be heard.

[The Flip]          [Title: What Jeo__________'s last name? ]

   "God, Nitro, will you stop doing those bird calls?" exclaimed Gretchen in a
witchy voice.
   "Sorry, heh, just was bored..." answered Nitro.
   There was some rustling in the background of the adjacent forrest.
   "Hey, I heard some rustling in the forrest!" said Flip.
   "No you didn't...you were copying what the narrator said," corrected R/C.
   "But I AM the narrator for this post!" screamed (almost whined) Flip,
aggravating R/C to the point of silence. (?!)
   "Hey, let's go check what's going on in there," suggested Jocko, the
adventurously crazy guy he is.
   "Alright...JJ, Elmo, and Flip will continue to search the outer fortress
walls for anything suspicious. The rest of us will check out the forrest,"
commanded Jon in a General MacArthur-like manner.
   "But...shouldn't Gretchen stay with JJ and them? She might not be able to
handle what's in the forrest," suggested R/C, who was trying to be a gentleman,
but Gretchen took it as a chauvinistic gesture.
   "Naaaah...seeing how Gretchen was able to scare Nitro into stopping doing
those whistling sounds, I'd think she could scare anything away..." answered
Jon.
   "OK...let's do it!" ordered JJ, and both groups set off.
   The forrest group only went rummaging through the forrest for a few
seconds, when they heard a twig snap. "Wh-wh-wh-wh..." stammered Jon.
   "According to the narrator, it was a twig snapping," responded Gretchen
smartly.
   They continued to search, and suddenly saw a flock of birds fly out from
the trees. The whole group looked around, searching for the cause of the birds
exit, which brought about a long moment of silence.

   "Charge!!" yelled the Villain, rising from a bush where he was hiding.
Immediately, around forty soldiers rose from the foliage, charging straight at
our group of heroes...(*chuckle*)

[Jocko]             [Title: oh... ]

Meanwhile...inside the fortress...


   "What a silly Villain he/she is," said Jocko,"It's obvious from these bunks
that only forty soldiers live in this baracks.  I believe I just heard forty
people stand up rapidly out in the woods, so we're all alone in here."
   "That means that Lady Ophelia is hidden in the fortress somewhere and we
just have to find her," said Wanderer, and everyone looked for the hole in
the wall that he must have just crawled through to get in the story.
    "Let's go lock the front gate so the Villain and his men can't get
in," ordered someone who was with the group, but the narrator forgot to look
at the names of the ones here.
    Unfortunately when the party approached the gate.....

                    [To be continued! Hehe!]