"Time and Time Again" Part V Late 1990 AD, Mid 2365 Galactic [Nomad Of Norad] (Beginning of "Time and Time Again" Part III) [Sic] The lights came back up. "They blew out the force-dome projectors," said Joshua. "We no longer have any protection." 'That must have been all the laserblasts we heard,' thought Sigmund. "I gather we have been transported to the alien's pocket dimension," said Nomad. "What was that just now about hyperflux energy?" asked Kang. "The main power source here is the hyperflux energy generated by the Earth," explained Joshua. "The aliens absorbed it all, drawing it away from our collector. It is rather like a deep well drawing the water table down so that a nearby, shallower well cannot draw up water." "And so the force dome went down and they transported us away," said Kang. "Nice." "Look," said Sigmund, apprehensively. "We all should definitely head for the hills. If we stay here they are probably going to come capture us all." "Yes!" said Nomad. "Let's all go off in all directions! Fast!" Joshua's amplified voice was heard throughout the house. "Everyone. You must immediately leave. Run away. Head off in every direction as fast as you can!" "But we need to meet somewhere!" exclaimed Sigmund, as everyone ran out of earshot. No-one heard him. [THX-1138] "Is it done yet?" asked THX. [Nomad Of Norad] * * * * * * The meeting in the secret base had been going on for awhile, but nothing seemed to be being gained by it. Then a munchkin messenger marched meekly into the meeting hall with a message. He handed it to Chairman Mayonayse, who opened it and read it. "Hmmmm..." said the Chairman. "It seems another domain has just been transported in. A large number of people hurriedly left the place, going off in all directions. Looks like they all escaped, so far at least." "Which particular domain is this?" asked Redstar. "It is a large building, rectangular with shallowly slanted walls." Redstar and Cappy exchanged startled glances. "Sounds like Nomad's house!" they both said at once. "Look," said Cappy, "we should probably round them up and get them down here." "I agree," said the Chairman. He motioned to the messenger, still standing to one side. "Send word... the new arrivals are to be located and brought down here." Away the messenger went. "Now, where were we?" * * * * * * [Dragon Master] [Title: oh,wo,wo,janies cryin! ] shallowly WHAT???? [Nomad Of Norad] [Title: Re: oh,wo,wo,janies cryin! ] >shallowly WHAT???? > > Shallowly slanted walls. Kinda like this: * * * * Get the picture? Please, if you have any more comments like this, take them to the Bookside Gaming Hall. Thank you. Hmmmm... maybe I should have said slanted EXTERNAL walls. [THX-1138] "Maybe you should have said 'slanted external walls'," said THX, yawning. [The Duke] "Let's start a new story" says the Duke./ "Great idea" says THX. "All in favor say aye"....a few thousands "aye's" are heard. "Anyone opposed" asks THX. The room is silent. [Nomad Of Norad] "NO!" yelled Redstar, Cappy, and Nomad. "Let's wait before we scrap it!" [Captain R/C] Cappy awakes from a daze.. "Who said that! I didn't say that!...AYE!" [The Duke] Cappy was apparently the victim of brainwashing by commie spies. He is alright now and is in favor of starting a new story. [Doctor Depraved] [Title: Quick! ] Attack the commies before its too late! [Nomad Of Norad] The Flip, Koala Bear, The Fourth Doctor, and Jennifer moved cautiously past a hill. "We should have arranged a place for all of us to meet," said Jennifer. "Too late now," said The Flip. "Well, where do you think we should hide?" said T4D. "I don't know if there is anyplace we CAN hide," said Koala. "The Xoonakrone probably have equipment that could find us wherever we hide." "Even if they do," said Jenn, "it will probably take them a long time to round us all up." They rounded the hill. "Look at this!" said The Flip. There was a crashed space vehicle, or perhaps landed. It looked undamaged. "This is one of Sen Taru's small transport vessels," said Koala. "It looks undamaged," said T4D. "I wonder what's aboard," said The Flip. "We can find out," said T4D. He walked up to the airlock on the side and punched the door-open button. Nothing happened except for a beep. "'Access denied!'" read T4D. "They would have set it with a special code," said Koala. "This must have been an important flight." He looked over the length of the craft, his eyes pausing on the ship's name. "Well," said Jenn, "whatever was aboard must still be there." "And how do you determine that?" asked The Flip. "Simple," said Jenn. "If the lock is still set, then the Xoonakrone must not have gotten inside, why bother to lock the doors again after you have unlocked them?" "To pick things up later?" suggested The Flip. "Perhaps they re-locked it to prevent someone else from taking things." "Not likely," said T4D. "Most of the kingdoms we have come across so far have been stripped. Why do any different here?" "I see your point," said The Flip. He looked at the ship a moment. "Hmmmmm... you said Sen Taru was from the 27th Century, right?" "No," said Koala, "he was from ours, but his equipment and training was." "Ok," said The Flip, "if that's so... why is this ship not from there? It looks like... well, a type of ship from our century." "It is a standard Donato class long range transport," said Jenn. "The temporal organization that Sen Taru was with tended to use spacecraft from whatever century their agents were assigned to," explained Koala. "It would have called attention to themselves if they used 27th Century vessels here in the 24th." "I see," said The Flip. "Tell me," said T4D, "how do you know so much about him?" After a pause, Koala said "I knew him once." "It must be a small galaxy," said The Flip. "So," said T4D, "do you think we could get inside?" "It would take us too long to find the code," said Jenn, "even if we knew how many digits it was...." They all stared at the lock a moment. "Oh forget it, then," said T4D. "Let's go on." Suddenly Devastator ran up to them. "Hey! I found the Hotel California! This way!" he led them on. "Looks like we DO have a place to meet," said Jennifer. * * * * * * * [THX-1138] Somewhere else in the galaxy, the following was heard by millions. "Wolf Blitzer, reporting LIVE from the Pentagon." [Doctor Depraved] [Title: And... ] ...within moments of that EARTH shattering anouncement, Connie Chung married Bill the Cat... And then a SCUD missle was heard booming toward them... [The Duke] The SCUD missle destroyed the whole world and everyone is dead. Can we have a new story now!!?!?!?1 <<<>>> p.s. Sorry, it had to be done. [Nomad Of Norad] Look, I DO want to finish this thing, with just a little bit of cooperation it can be finished in just a few more days. [THX-1138] "Waaaaaa!" cried Nomad. "Here's a tissue," offered K-Bear. [The Duke] "But in a few more days, I'll be out of here" insisted the Duke. "So who has a good idea for a new story?" asks Cappy. [Captain R/C] :"I think I'm tired of giving new ideas. It always works its way into the same plot with a lot of non-anti-pseudo-BBSers. B'sides. I don't think a single SCUD could destroy the planet when it can't even manage to hit the ground most of the time." Duke says,"Alright, if I start it off, will you guys continue?" Everyone in chorus echoed,"...grmph.." but one person managed to squeek something audio-recognizable. Something that sounded vaguyley like "uh-huh" Duke smiled and said,"Once upon a time." Everyone waited. and waited. "Well?" Duke was taken off guard. "Well what?" "Start it off, moron!" "I did! I said 'Once upon a time'!" "sheesh,"stated THX in his own, lovable, sarcastic way. "Wanker." [Doctor Depraved] [Title: So... ] ...Doctor Depraved wandered on the set, from his long stay on safari... "Look guys! I caught me a wild zuuklhacker!" he cried excitedly. The wild zuuklhacker roared outrageously and its glistening 9" fangs gnashed on the bars of its cage. Everyone murmured "oooooh" "ahhhhhh". "Oh no! Its hungry!" cried cappy, "What...or WHO should we feed to it??" Everyone looked towards Jocko's and Spidey's empty chairs... [Nomad Of Norad] (IGNORING the previous posts...) "Yes," said Devastator, "most everyone has already come there." "Huh?" said T4D. "How can they have, we all ran off in every direction!" "Because the hotel was set down on a large hill... and 'a city on a hill cannot be hid.'" "Terrific!" said The Flip. "Now our favorite bounty-hunter is spouting Bible verses! What next? Tap dancing cockroaches?" "Are you sure the aliens didn't put the place there knowing we would all find it and congregate there?" asked Koala. "If you will pardon the expression," said Nomad. "Don't worry," said a munchkin that suddenly popped up out of a trapdoor in the sand, "the aliens had nothing to do with that. We have had a tie-in to the Xoonakrone's mass-transport device for months, so we influenced where the hotel materialized and have now disrupted their monitoring systems so they can't see in." "Look," said Devastator, "the munchkin underground have invited us down to their planning chamber. Care to come along?" * * * * * * * "So," said Sigmund, "what do we need to do?" "Destroy the Xoonakrone's time-snatcher device," replied the Chairman. "Obviously," muttered THX, "tell us something we don't already know." Gabrielle jabbed him with her elbow. "'Time-snatcher'?" asked T4D. "What do you mean by that?" "They have an immense machine that can reach into the past and retrieve objects, or move objects back there." The Chairman motioned to another munchkin beside him, who punched a button. On the big screen appeared a tall metal tower inside a cave. "We do not know what they plan to do with it exactly, but we do know they intend to demolish the past. Erase it completely." Gasps of disbelief came from all over the room. "So," said Nomad, "how much time -- if you will pardon the expression -- do we have left?" "They are finishing the last of their repairs on the device now," said Agent Thirteen, "perhaps a few hours." "Wait a minute, wait a minute," said Cody Lockett. "If their going to demolish the past, as the Chairman put it, wouldn't that erase the aliens as well? Prevent this place we are in now from being created?" "Let me answer that," said Koala, "we are effectively outside of Timeline One's spacetime continuum. This pocket dimension will be unaffected by the changes." "So, when do we attack?" asked Devastator. "Very soon," said the Chairman. "And I can supply more James Bondian gizmos," said Nomad. "Yes," said Sigmund, "but how much chance of success do we have?" "Well," said the munchkin Barbara Sevil, "there are not many Xoonakrone left. Maybe twenty at the most. They are trying to save their extinct race. That's why they want the Earth, so they can move them in... that is... to have moved them in at a point before the race will otherwise have died with their own planet." "But the place is very well secured," said Agent Thirteen. "I estimate it may take us until they have the device repaired before we can successfully get in there. It won't do us any good to get in if they demolish the past before we can do anything." "I may be able to do something about that," said Koala Bear suddenly. "Oh?" said THX. "And what might that be?" "You know that Donato class long range transport? The one that is parked out in the desert and is still locked tight?" "What about it?" asked the Chairman. "That particular transport contained some very special equipment, if we can bring that equipment down here and assemble it... I don't think we have to worry about the Xoonakrone smashing our past." "Ok," said the Chairman. "But how do we get in? No-one knows the lock code." "I do," said Koala, "at least I'm fairly sure I do." "Then take a few munchkins up and bring the equipment down here," said the Chairman. "Ok," said Koala. He walked out of the room. "Now all that's left is to devise our plan of attack," said Nomad. * * * * * * * [THX-1138] >(IGNORING the previous posts...) Nomad: Maybe, just MAYBE if you would accept what other people posted as part of the story things would be different. You keep complaining how "WE" need to finish the story. Well, I think it's obvious you don't give a damn about what other people contribute. No wonder people are sick and tired of these stories. THEY'RE ALL YOURS! What the hell good is a story sub if the only person who can post "official" story entries is you? Sheesh. Someone introduce this guy to women. [The Duke] We couldn't feed Jocko and Spidey to the zuuklhacker because they left town. No-one knows their current location so we had to look for an alternate victim. Cappy suggested we make a list of potential victims. THX suggest Nomad since he was trying to ruin the story, but some people felt that would be a little cruel. Anyways, a list was compiled. The people on the list are: Dr. Depraved THX-1138 Cappy Alter Ego The Duke Joe Powell Who will determines who gets fed to the zuuklhacker? We have also formed a selection committee. It consists of: Dr. Depraved THX-1138 Cappy Alter Ego The Duke Joe Powell [Printer] [Title: Actually ] I have been following you folks's original story. I have enjoyed it. I would like to see the completion of it. Please dont just drop it for other stories that have nothing to do with it. Nomad has said it is nearing completeion. Let him finish it. I have enjoyed it. It would be nice if you all could pitch in again and be serious and help him as you did in the earlier parts of the story. In any case, Nomad please finish the story. ***** After reading how Nomad feels about this story and my having followed it, I think it hurts Nomad for you all to just abandon the story like you all appear to be doing. He has put a LOT of time into it. I know, i am writing my own RPG game adn it hurts when you have put a lot of time into something and then have the people that were helping you just suddenly abandon you and call it quits. It is rather childish to just walk out on someone. Please dont give up on the story. I would like to read the final chapter. This far into it and then POOF? That would be sad. Printer Call Galactic Infintium ###-#### (8 lines) 300/1200 8/N/1 P.s. These recent Trash story posts have nothing to do with Nomads Story. At least let the guy finish the story before you all start another. [Galactic Infinitum is now long gone... >Sigh< --NoN] [Doctor Depraved] [Title: HAHAHA! ] What?? My RECENT post was a trash story!??? There's no stopping me now. I'll have to multi-planarly write on here then... So...the committee met. After a LOOOOONG and sexually overt argument about what the story would be about and who would write it... ...And after various users were asked (or volunteered) their opinions... ...And after the KING made up his mind... ...And Josh stopped sucking on his thumb or other body parts... The descision was to have the monster eat The Duke. Cause he's the yummiest... [THX-1138] [Title: Nomad's next post: ] (IGNORING THAT LAST POST!!!!!!!!!!!) (blah blah blah, etc.) [Nomad Of Norad] (Uh.... Doc Depraved... YOUR posts aren't trash! Calm down! Don't have a cow!) In a cave within the munchkins' base, the machine from the transport craft was taking shape. It was a large thing with great oblong crystals and with power leads going in every direction. It was nearly complete. Nomad walked into the cave. He stopped in mid-step as he got inside, there was something... familiar about the design of the machine. "Hello Nomad," said Koala. "Beautiful isn't it?" "Uh... yeah, but it looks... where have I seen something like this before?" "The dead alien's time-disrupter machine?" suggested Koala. "Yes, that's it." "This machine works on the same principle, but it is fully tested. It won't blow up like the other one." "Good." "How goes the attack?" "They're still preparing to break in, last I heard." [The Duke] The Duke is then thrown to the zuuklhacker. It looked like certain doom for him. But then, The Duke pulls out a machine gun and shoots the zuuklhacker into thousands of tiny pieces. It's a narrow escape for our hero. The group joins together again to try to decide the course of this story. Cappy suggests that we use some sort of "theme". [Nomad Of Norad] * * * * * * * The Intrepid Mega-group crawled stealthily up to the entrance to the Xoonakrone's main complex. There was a force-field covering the whole thing. Four people split up and went ahead, coming to either end of the force-field. It was Keith aka Kang aka Mother_Box, followed by Devastator, Redstar and Cappy. They set up small black boxes at the edges of the force-screen, and then stood back. "Stand by, everyone," whispered Devastator back to the others. "Three... two... ONE!" Cappy punched a button on a small control box. BBzzzzzt! Down went the force-field as everyone charged forward and ran through the entrance. As the last of them got inside, the black boxes shorted out and the force-field went back up. They were all standing before a huge pair of metal doors. "Ok," said Devastator, "now for the big doors." He motioned Nathan towards the electronic lock to one side. Nathan got into the guts of the lock, and within fifteen seconds the doors were swinging open. Everyone cautiously advanced. The area was empty. They came to another big double door, Nathan was about to have at the lock to this one when... "Robots!" yelled Sigmund. "Look out!" yelled Gabrielle A-leen. The room was suddenly swarming with vicious-looking R2-D2-shaped robots in force-fields. Lances of energy flashed everywhere. Fortunately, everyone was wearing personal force-fields. [THX-1138] "Whew! Thank goodness for that!" said . "I THINK OF EVERYTHING!" yelled Nomad. "Psst...Nomad..." whispered Dr. Depraved. "You know how easy it is to kill a man?" "WHAT??" Nomad exclaimed. "I think he's asking, in his own subtle way, if the story is done yet," suggested THX. [Doctor Depraved] [Title: But... ] "...I don't know what on earth your talking about THX," blurted out Doctor Depraved, as he quickly resheathed his teflon coated dagger and hid it behind his trenchcoat. Nomad turned around to look at the R2-D2 droids, "Oh no!" he cried. Silently Doctor Depraved snuck up behind him, holding the knife at throat level. [Kang] [Title: to be continued ] As the confusion continued, Kang slipped into one of the force fielded R2-D2 unit's blind-spots. 'Ever notice these things look sort of like Daleks?' he thought. He aimed his disrupter ...taking out most of the opponents in range. Finally, with the help of the others, wiping out the smallish attack force. "That was FUN!" said Kang aka Keith. "But the alarms are making too much noise. Nomad, I think they know we are here!" "About time," quipped Nomad, "all this sneaking around was getting on my nerves." [Nomad Of Norad] "Nathan!" yelled Cappy over the din, "get the doors open!" Nathan broke open the lock panel and quickly monkeyed with the wires and stuff. The alarms stopped, and then the doors began to open. "Aha!" said Nomad. "I see you Dr Depraved! Put away the knife!" He shook his head, wondering if he shouldn't have stayed back in the Underground's... uh... underground H/Q with Koala. Dr Depraved put his blade away. Everyone hurried through the doors... or rather they STARTED to hurry through the doors. "Eeeeeek!" said Gabrielle A-leen as everyone skidded to a stop. The room was dominated by a great big open space in the floor, it completely cut them off from the next set of doors. "Man, dig this split-level living room!" joked Zaphod Beeblebrox. "Now what do we do?" said Redstar. "Swing across, like in Star Wars?" "All of us?" said T4D. "You gotta be kidding." "There must be a control here somewhere to produce a bridge or something," said Sigmund. "'Oh dear,'" said Redstar, joking, "'I think I just blasted it!'" "Very funny," said T4D. "Here it is," said The Flip. He walked up to a panel to one side. BZZZzzzzzzt! "Ouch! It's electrified!" "Nice," said Devastator. "Let's have Nathan touch it." "Watch it!" said Nomad to Devvy, giving him a mock-angry glare. "Not funny!" said Nathan. "On second thought," said Cappy, "let's have THX touch it! Good riddance!" Everyone laughed, except of course for THX. (Remember guys, Koala Bear is not in the group, he is back with Sen Taru's machine, in the Munchkins' underground H/Q.) [THX-1138] "Hey Nomad, ever licked a yarble?" asked THX. "WHAT??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" screamed Nomad. "A yarble. A testicle," replied THX. "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Nomad, almost fainting. "Uhh...what about me?" whimpered K-Bear offscreen. [Nomad Of Norad] * * * * * * * "Sir?" said the underling alien to the leader. "What is it, underling? Can't you see I'm watching TV?" snapped the leader. "Well, I thought you should know that some people are trying to break in. They're at the main entrance." "How far along are they?" "They just set off the alarms at the second chamber." "Oh, ignore them then... they won't get far. Let me get back to my 'Man From UNCLE' marathon. This is a great episode right now." "If you say so." The underling wandered off. 'Of all the leaders we could have gotten,' thought the alien, 'it had to be one that's nuts over spy movies!' * * * * * * * [Nomad Of Norad] "Well," said Koala Bear, "the machine is finished." He turned to a munchkin. "Run the diagnostics program." He watched as the munchkin punched in the instruction on the main panel. "Speaking of diagnostics," said another munchkin, "the Xoonakrone are starting one now on the time-snatcher." Koala climbed down from where he was on the machine and came to look. The munchkins had managed to place quite a few taps into the Xoonakrone's machinery. Some had been found by them and removed, but there were many more still in place. They were hard to find. This other console displayed the results of those taps. "How do things look? Have they finished their repairs?" "We'll know in five minutes." "Our own diagnostic is completed," said the munchkin at the time-jammer console. "Everything looks good." "Excellent!" said Koala Bear. * * * * * * * [THX-1138] "Is it over yet?" asked THX and Dr. Depraved, almost in unison. [Nomad Of Norad] The Flip, Nomad, Redstar and Nathan examined the electrified control closely. Much attention was placed on dealing with the electrical charge. Nomad was standing there with his scanner out. "You know, I just noticed something." "What's that?" asked Captain R/C. Nomad stared at the scanner screen another moment, taking a few steps forward as if following a cable to its source. He then waved the scanner around a bit. "That panel doesn't seem to really connect to anything." Instantly the other three stopped what they were doing. "You mean it's a dummy? A decoy?" asked Redstar. "Sorta figures, doesn't it," said BlueAdept. "Everyone look for another control," suggested Sevarian. After a moment, Kang aka Keith aka Mother_Box said "Hey! Look at this!" Everyone turned to him. He was at the edge of the floor, laying down, reaching below. "There are buttons down here!" "Be careful," said T4D, "it might be..." He trailed off as he saw that Kang had already pressed the buttons, and the bridge was sliding out of its slot. It got all the way to the other side, and stopped with a loud metallic clunk as it latched into place. "We should be careful," said Printer, the cyborg, "it might be booby- trapped, or electrified." Dr Depraved took out coins and tossed them onto the bridge. Nothing happened. Everyone stood there a moment. "Look," said Agent Thirteen, "someone should go across. If it proves safe, the rest of us will follow." "Okay," said Dr Depraved, "since you said it... you go across." The munchkin started across the bridge. He stopped apprehensively a moment, looked back towards the Group, and then continued onwards. He got to the other side safely. "Ok," said Dr Depraved, "I guess it's safe." "Across we go," said Sigmund. Everyone crossed the bridge. Then Nathan started on the next electronic lock. "Near as we have been able to tell," said Agent Thirteen, "we are nearing the most dangerous point. Once we get past this last defense point, it should be downhill from there." The big doors began to open. Everyone stood rooted to the spot, watching to see what happened. As the door came fully open, nothing happened. They saw that the next chamber was empty except for a several sets of stairs leading down. Cautiously they started forward. Inside the doors they stopped a moment, hesitant to go on. Finally Nomad, Redstar, Cappy and Nathan took the first steps forward. As they reached the head of one set of stairs, the other Intrepid members started forward. As the first four got a few steps down the stairs... suddenly all hell broke loose! A force field went up at the big doors behind them, and the room was suddenly full of large silver spheres that darted and swooped and that fired on them en masse. It was total bedlam. The Intrepid Group fought valiantly, heroically. Several of the spheres were destroyed outright, but several members of the Group were killed. Laser shots, blaster bolts, disruptor fire and phase-beams lanced about. Some of the members never had a chance, some of the members took out spheres before they got taken out, some failed to get a shot, and some took out many of the spheres. Oddly enough, Nathan seemed to destroy his fair share of spheres, it was as if he had been trained for it. Finally, there were no more spheres. Everyone paused to lick their wounds so to speak. They looked around to be sure there no more spheres, and to confirm to themselves that it was over. "Do we have anything else like that to look forward to?" asked Gabrielle A-Leen of Agent Thirteen. "Most likely not," said the munchkin. 'At least for awhile,' he thought. "Now we just have a few more chambers to get through. They appear to have put too much confidence in that last defense." "It strikes me that... they were almost right," said Nomad. He shuddered. They stood around another moment. "We need to be going onward," said Sigmund Fraud. [THX-1138] "Is it over yet?" asked THX and Dr. Depraved, almost in unison. [Nomad Of Norad] * * * * * * * "Well," said Koala, "it looks like the alien's machine is ready. Power is building." "How long do we have?" asked Rob Rodgers, who had come from another munchkin outpost where he had been kept safe. "It depends on what they are going to transport, and from when," replied the munchkin at Koala's elbow. "The further back they reach, and the more mass they need to move, the more power it takes." "And the power will build at a steady rate? I see," said Rob. "Stand by on the time-jammer," said Koala. The munchkin at the control of the time-jammer started up the H/Q's main reactor. "Power building," said the munchkin. "Do not activate until they do," said Koala, "we do not want to tip our hand." * * * * * * * The Intrepid Group gathered in the first chamber of the next level down. "Be careful," said Zaphod, "there may still be some kind of boobytrap." They advanced to the next big set of double doors. "Did they have a sale on these doors or something?" said Printer. "I believe we have only two or three chambers left," said Agent Thirteen. [THX-1138] [(Modified, slightly)] "And don't forget about the transurmaticfloroteletrlisamphotogenerator!!!" cried THX. [Nomad of Norad (in post production)] "Oh shut up!" said Kang. [Nomad of Norad] So they got the big doors open and found... crates! Rows and rows and rows of crates! Crates stacked as high as the ceiling! "Hmmmm," said Sigmund. "These crates over here say 'Oz.'" "And these say 'Province of the Silver Dragon,'" said T4D. "Stored loot from the captured kingdoms," said Redstar. "Well," said Nomad, "let's get on to the next chamber." And they did. And they found more crates. And they found more crates in the next chamber, and the next. Soon they came to another empty chamber with spiral stairways leading down. There was an odd, throbbing hum that dominated the chamber. The Group descended cautiously, and come out onto a set of catwalks going across a huge rectangular chamber. Below they could see two long and wide trenches skirting the length of the chamber. There were lots of flying saucers parked there, and there were a very few Xoonakrone walking around on the raised floor between the trenches. "Hey!" said Redstar, "this place looks... familiar." "You're right," said Nomad. "Can't place it, though." "Let's go kill some Xoonakrone!" said Devastator. "Exactly!" said Kang. Everyone checked out their weapons and other gear, and down they started to the floor of the chamber. [THX-1138] "Wait!" cried THX. "Look at these crates! They say 'Nomad's Kingdom!'" "What?!?" cried Nomad. "Really!" replied THX. "Come see for yourself." "Uhhhhh... DON'T OPEN THEM!!" cried Nomad, [just a little bit louder than he probably should have,] his blood pressure building. About that time, THX force open a crate. Inside, he found all manners of odd shaped things, and lots of batteries. "Oh Nomad...you beast!" he said. [His tone dripped with sexual innuendo, the sort of unfounded insinuation that had become his annoying trademark as of late.] [Nomad Of Norad] Suddenly the odd shaped objects activated and began to run all over the chamber, scampering, tumbling, bumping into each other and then abruptly attacking each other. "NOW you've done it!" said Nomad. "You've let them loose! They're the battle-robots from the mini arena they're building over at Funtown!" "Built by Nomad Industries, right?" said Devastator. One of the flying versions of the robots fluttered up and attached itself to Cappy's arm, where it deployed a mini ripsaw to try to cut it. It couldn't get through his force-field, though. "Hey! Let go you little monster!" He flung his arm out and the flying robot was sent sailing into the air. Over the balustrades it went, and sighted a Xoonakrone on the level below. This robot let out an electronic battle cry, and the other robots quickly followed it, deciding to go after easier prey. They quickly polished off every Xoonakrone in sight. "You were going to put something like that into a funpark?" said Kang. "Eeeeeee!" "They were originally programmed to only go after each other," explained Nomad. "That is, the prototypes were, but due to a clerical error we put the wrong program chips into them when they were mass produced. We were recalling them all for refit. But then, the arena was going to be a sealed chamber anyway." He pulled a small control-box out of one of the crates and pressed a button on it. The robots instantly deactivated, and clattered to the floor. "Well," said Sigmund, "onward and downward." [THX-1138] "Oh come now, Nomad," said THX. "You know as well as I do that cheese puffs would do no good at this time! Sheesh." [Nomad Of Norad] "WHAT is HE talking about!" exclaimed Printer, the cyborg. "Oh nothing," said Cappy. "He's just being a smart-ass, like usual." "Ah." They all headed towards the far end of the big chamber, where there was a huge set of louvers, like in Venetian blinds only they were metal. Through them could be seen the main control center, where a few Xoonakrone were frantically dashing about. Suddenly the huge louvers closed! The odd humming sound also ceased. "Aaaaaack!" yelled Nomad as he reached the place. He slammed his fists against the now impenetrable wall. Everyone crowded behind and around him. "Hey!" said Cappy. "I just realized what this place reminds me of!" "Yeah!" said Redstar. "What?" asked Nathan. "The inside of that ship in that James Bond movie!" said Cappy. "Yes!" said Nomad. "'The Spy Who Loved Me'!" Indeed, the chamber looked almost exactly like the inside of the submarine-eating ocean vessel, only without the water down below, and with flying saucers instead of captured subs. "That doesn't get us past this wall, though," said T4D. "Well," said Cappy, "in the movie they used a detonating-cap from a nuclear missile..." "But we don't have one of those," said Redstar, his gaze shifting about the chamber. "There might be something as strong as that stored in one of these flying saucers," said Nomad. They went to the flying saucers and started poking about in them. * * * * * * * [THX-1138] "I think you're kind of cute in that wet suit," said K-Bear. [Nomad Of Norad] "Wet suit?" said Mr Rogers, turning around to see where K-Bear was looking. "It's not a wet suit," said Kitten, standing at the door, "it's a space suit." "Sure looks like a wet suit," said Rob Rogers. "So," said the munchkin monitoring the time-snatcher, "why are you wearing a space suit?" "Oh, just breaking it in.... Say, what is going on here?" "We are preparing to jam the alien's time-snatcher device," said Koala. "Power is still building over there," said the monitoring munchkin, "but it looks like it is leveling off." "So they'll be activating soon?" said Rob. "Probably they'll be running a calibrating program first," said the monitoring munchkin, "to find their target or targets." "Aha," said Rob. "And how long would that take?" "Depends on how many targets there are, if they are going to snatch up one item it could be less than a minute. Or it could be an hour if they have a lot of targets. With the kind of power they have built up, it will probably number in the thousands or tens-of-thousands." Kitten let out a low whistle. * * * * * * * [THX-1138] >[Entire above message quoted here. Deleted for clarity.] > "I see," said THX. [Kang] [Title: inpenitrable ? ] As the others scurried off to look for an obvious explosive device. Kang took one of the side arms from a dead opponent, set it on overload, and clamped it to the shutters. Then he ducked madly for cover. [Mike Yang] Picking a large amount of crust from his bellybutton, Mike Yang asks "Has anyone seen the andwhendigglspligger? The muffins are about ready." [Nomad Of Norad] >>>KAAAAABOOOOOMDOOOMDOOOMDOOOM!!!!!<<< The sound of the massive explosion reverberated throughout the chamber. It did absolutely no damage to the shutters. "AAAaaack!" said Nomad, taking his hands down from his ears. "Nice of you to TELL us before you did that, Kang!" "What did you say?" said Kang. "I can't hear you, I've lost my hearing!" "What did you say?" said Cappy to Nomad. "I've lost my hearing!" "How's that again?" said Redstar. "I can't hear!" "Terrific!" said Nomad "We're all deaf as Monxtilgian cavecrawlers!" "Nice going, Keith!" said Kaos Kamikaze. "You've made us all deaf!" "Thank you Mother_Box," said The Flip, "that did wonders to my ears!" "Hey! *I* can still hear!" said Printer. "At least with my bionic ear, anyway." "More than likely the loss of hearing will only be temporary," said Dr Depraved. "Isn't this sort of thing only short-term?" said Sigmund. "Well," said Devastator, "at least it's probably only temporary." "I guess it's only temporary, right?" said Black Knight. [Kang] [Title: if at first you dont succeed ! ] ok ..... This time I'll take two alien weapons ...... warn everyone to cover their ears ..... (somehow !) and try again .....gee , please forgive me for trying to find a simple solution. I'll know better next time . oh yeah .....3....2....1........ [Nomad Of Norad] [Title: Re: if at first you dont succeed ! ] [Note: This and following messages were modified and expanded in post- production] >[Entire above message quoted here. Deleted for clarity.] (No offense intended, Kang. Just saw a good excuse for a bit of hilarity.) At that point, Kang picked up TWO of the aliens' weapons and carefully fastened them to the shutters. "Look at that!" said The Flip, "He's at it again!" "Oh no, not again!" said Zaphod Beeblebrox. "Eeeek!" said Gabrielle A-leen. Everyone scrambled for the nearest flying saucer and piled into it. Kang stopped a moment when he noticed this, and then resumed his task. When completed, he turned and ran with his hands over his ears, saying, "Five...! Four...! Three...! Two...! ONE!" >>>>BAABAABOOOOOMBOOOOMTROOOMTROOOMTROOOMTROOOM!!!!!!!!!<<<< The explosion threw him to the floor. There was a marginal dent in the shutters. Meanwhile, inside the flying saucer, everyone was starting to get their hearing back. "Hey!" said Zaphod "Why don't we try using the flying saucer ITSELF to force the shutters open!" "Eh?" said Black Knight. "You mean as in pressing the flying saucer up against the shutters and applying thrust?" said Nomad. "Exactly!" said Zaphod. "Look!" said Sigmund, pointing to the display screen before him, "there he goes again! This time with FOUR weapons!" "Oh somebody drag him in here!" said T4D. And so they unceremoniously dragged Kang into the saucer, and then they flew it up next to the shutters. >>>SSSSSSSKUUUUHHHHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!!<<< The lower shutters were forced out of the way. Everyone poured out of the flying saucer and stormed into the control room beyond the shutters. Suddenly force wall came up around them. "Well," said the alien leader, "about TIME you guys got here! You are all just in time to watch us erase your world's past!" He motioned to one of his underlings, and the underling hit a button. On the big screen that dominated the chamber, a representation of the Earth appeared, with a vast number of the tiny dots covering all the continents. Slowly and steadily, more and more dots were appearing all across the globe. Beside the big screen, there was another screen which showed a view of the meeting chamber of the munchkins, and was focused on Chairman Mayonayse. It appeared that the alien leader was going to gloat. He rubbed two of his tentacles together, like a man rubbing his hands around each other in glee. His two eyes slowly bobbed up, down, and around on the tops of his eye-stalks in joy. "What do you mean?" said Nomad. "I mean, specifically." "Glad you asked," said the alien. "If it means anything to you, the date we have set the machine on is late in the year 537 Galactic, less than a month after the asteroids struck Earth!" There came general gasps of shock and disbelief from the members of the Intrepid Group. "And the subjects I have locked onto, if you haven't already guessed, are all the survivors of the holocaust! They will be brought here, to this century. Earth will have been left UNINHABITED!" "Don't be so sure of that!" came a voice from the other screen, the view had changed from the meeting hall to show a grey furry face against a cave- wall background. The alien leader, turning in a leisurely way that oozed confidence, faced the smaller screen. "Such confidence I hear in that voice! Such bravado!" The alien cast a gleeful look around the control chamber, then back to the comm screen. "Who could it be that could possibly think himself a threat to me?" On the screen, Koala looked him in the eye -- as much, that is, that one could be said to look one in the eye through a TeleCom screen -- pausing as if to choose his words with calm. "Tell me, oh High and Mighty Kryaa-plupp-long, what enemies did you once have that might could be a threat to you?" "You know my name?" said the alien, with mild surprise. "No matter. Enemies, you ask? There were a handful of lesser ones that could have been a threat. One, the illustrious leader of these feeble munchkins, was the not- so-powerful Wizard Pendleton. He blundered across our plan, and thought he could put a stop to us...." The alien turned back around, heading away from the screen again. "I destroyed his powers, he'll never be a threat again." "Yes," prompted Koala Bear, "but what individual was the strongest threat to you? The alien stood, his eye-stalks staring into space, relishing the memory. "Sen Taru, I smashed him and his great armada, slaughtered all his agents and workers. I have seen no sign of him since then, and I have looked high and low for him. He has not dared to show his face anywhere that I could have found him." "Sure," said Nomad, "but how do you know he isn't hidden out under some rock somewhere, readying a strike against you even now?" Kryaa-plupp-long turned back around in a nice leisurely fashion and then swiveled his eye-stalks to face Nomad. "If he was anywhere on Earth, or anywhere in my great pocket dimension, and especially if he was among the Intrepid Group, I would have detected him. I assure you, he is nowhere to be found." "Detected him?" said Nomad. "Explain." "I will. You see, I have a special long range scanner capable of screening through a whole population, looking for a particular DNA pattern. Everyone's DNA pattern, after all, is totally unique. And, of course, I have enough of Sen Taru's DNA pattern to detect him with." Kryaa-plupp paused a moment in reflection. "In fact, ironically enough, the device was based on something Wizard Pendleton was using when I conquered him." "But what was that about the Intrepid Group?" said Nomad. "You said, 'especially if he was among the Intrepid Group....'" "Ah, yes! You see, my agent James Mentira set up a smaller, pocket-sized version of the device to scan everyone that showed up for this great quest of yours. I suspected Sen Taru would join your group, now that we are so close to the end. If he had, I would have had him for sure, but he didn't. I figure if he is still alive, he knew enough to run far and far away from me... hide cowering under a rock." The other aliens all snickered at this last barb, their tentacles quivering with mirth. "From what I know of Sen Taru," said Nomad, most vehemently, "he would NEVER have done that!" "Then he must be quite dead," said Kryaa-plupp, cheerfully. There came a sound like a high chime. One of the aliens, at a control closer to the big screen, turned and said, "We have locked onto all of the humans in the target time-point." "Excellent," said the alien leader, "you may activate when ready." "Activating," said the other alien. Xoonakrone and human alike stared at the big screen, the aliens with relish, the humans with dread. The humming noise grew more intense, began to oscillate faster and faster, raising in pitch. "Oh," said Koala Bear, "you are quite wrong about Sen Taru. He is not dead." "Then he is a coward," said Kryaa-plupp, not even bothering to turn around, "otherwise he would have been here." "Oh, but he IS here!" said Koala Bear. "Impossible," said Kryaa-plupp, looking up at the big screen, his eyes drunk with the look of victory, "I would have detected him." "Kryaa-plupp..." said Koala Bear, he paused as if to add more impact. "*I* am Sen Taru!" Kryaa-plupp's eye stalks suddenly shot straight up, causing his eyes to vibrate back and forth like the ends of let-loose automobile antennas. His tentacles wriggled madly. "You-- you lie!" "Activate!" cried Koala Bear to someone off screen. Suddenly there came a sound like an alarm from one of the aliens' consoles, and the lights began to flicker. The aliens, looking surprised, became frantic at their controls. "You can't be him!" cried the alien leader. "You're not even human!" Just as he said this, the video link to the munchkins' H/Q failed. The flickering of the lights in the control room became much worse, and then the force wall began to buckle and reform, buckle and reform. "There!" yelled Nomad, pointing. "Shoot the force field projection...!" BLKZZZAAAAPPPP!!! Kang zzzapped the module on the ceiling with his disruptor. The force wall went down and stayed down. Everyone fired at the aliens. * * * * * * * "The time-snatcher has stopped operating!" hollered both munchkins at the same time. "YAHOOOOOO!!!!" yelled Koala. "Shut down the time-jammer, but keep it on standby just in case." * * * * * * * Sometime later, back at the munchkin H/Q, the Intrepid Group discussed what to do. "Well," said Sigmund, "first off, we should return at least some of the kingdoms to where they originally came from." "And the looted equipment!" added Nomad. "What all will that take?" asked Devastator. "Well," said Agent Thirteen, "we will need the flying saucers out to do it. The saucers contain the mechanisms to beam up the kingdoms, and thus to return them." At that point, the munchkin Wild Bill Hickup walked into the room. "Guys, we got trouble. We just did a check of all the bodies of the aliens. The leader is not among them!" "WHAT?!?!?!?" hollered several people all at once. "Kryaa-plupp-long is still at large," announced Wild Bill, calmly. "Search everywhere!" hollered Sigmund, T4D, Rob Rogers, and Chairman Mayonayse. [Nomad Of Norad] * * A bit later: "Well," said Agent Thirteen, putting his shoe-phone back on his foot, "they just did complete sensor sweeps of our H/Q and the former Xoonakrone base. There are no Xoonakrone in either place, alive anyway." His shoe-phone rang again. He slipped it back off and answered it. "Agent Thirteen...! You don't say! You don't say!" "What is it?" asked T4D, half expecting him to reply, "He didn't say!" Putting his shoe-phone back on, Lucky responded. "One of the flying saucers is missing from the Xoonakrone docking bay. They do not detect it anywhere in this pocket dimension of hours. Looks like the leader has escaped to come after us in an eventual sequel!" "AAAaaaack!" said Nomad. "Please!" said Captain R/C, "we don't need any sequels to THIS tale!" They all stood there a moment. "Well," said Redstar, "I guess we can get back to the topic at hand." "Which is?" said Zaphod. "Returning the kingdoms and such to Earth?" said Nomad. "Yes," said Redstar. "I don't think we can return all the kingdoms," said Nomad, "which ones SHOULD we return?" "Well," said Sigmund, "definitely mine." "And mine," said Rob Rogers. "And all those recently taken," said Cappy. "Uh..." said Redstar, "what about Oz?" "No," said Agent Thirteen, "I think we are all going to stay here. We like this place, now that we have captured it from the Xoonakrone." At this point, Koala Bear joined the group. "So, what goes on?" "Hello Koala Bear," said Cappy. "We are just discussing the return of the kingdoms to Earth, and other little loose ends left in this story." "Speaking of loose ends," said Nomad, "what about... whatsisname, the supposed father of Nathan." "James Mentira," said Black Knight, standing to one side of the group. "He said he had cloned Nathan to destroy me," said Nomad. "Oh yes," said Agent Thirteen, "I remember that now." "Eh?" said Nomad. "How could you, you weren't there." "I mean, I remember the Xoonakrone cloning a kid for this purpose. But we had access to their database and monkeyed around with the list of memory-RNA batches they dripped into him. One of them was one that would have allowed them to control him with... well, it was sort of like post-hypnotic suggestion only alot more involved. Anyway, we switched that one with another memory-RNA batch, one from a sort of super-agent." "Oh is THAT why he could do all those things!" exclaimed Nomad. "Terrific," said Redstar, "now we've got a six-year-old James Bond on our hands! Couldn't you have chosen a different one?" "Well," said Lucky, "we had to choose one with a similar catalog number to the one we replaced." "Ah," said Nomad. "I just hope he doesn't become hard to restrain due to this..." There came a lull in the conversation. "So, what do you suppose happened to James Mentira?" asked Nomad. "Unknown," said Lucky. "We lost track of him about the time your house was teleported. "So he could be... anywhere..." said Nomad. "Could be," said Lucky. "Well," said Sigmund, "he'd better be a long way from here for his own sake. We've already placed a bounty out for him!" "Yes," said Redstar, "and I hear Devastator is ALREADY out looking for him!" "Getting a head start on the competition, eh?" said Koala Bear. "Figures," said Captain R/C. "I wonder what his real name was," said Nomad. "Lord only knows," said Agent Thirteen. After a pause to reflect, Nomad turned to Black Knight and said, "Come to think of it, what DOES Mentira mean in Spanish?" "Uhm..." said Black Knight. "'Falsehood.'" Nomad's eyes bugged out, and then he slapped palm to forehead. "NOW he tells me!" * * * Nomad turned to Koala. "So, you were Sen Taru, eh? I *noticed* you'd been acting a little odd lately..." "Yes," said Koala, "I suppose I was." "I figured that you had at least been a part of Sen Taru's group at one time," continued Nomad. "But then I began to get a sneaking suspicion..." "You knew?" said Koala Bear. "Well, I kind of guessed, since you not only knew how to operate the full senses playback device, but how to assemble that time-jammer device, and knew the proper codes to open up the craft it was in." "Yes," said Koala. "There's something I don't understand," said Redstar, "how can he be Sen Taru, when we know Koala has a history that dates back to before Sen Taru vanished! Are you saying that his past was fabricated in the records?" "No," said Koala, "I was time-warped." "Oh no!" said Redstar. "Not MORE time travel plots!" "I crashed on Miridon, one of the planets in the Varamel Planetary Alliance, and my life as Deavin Ramas started then." "Not as Koala Bear?" said Zaphod. "I changed my name to Koala Bear after a teleport malfunction with a koala made me like this, but that was later." "I see," said Zaphod. Another lull in the discussion came. "Well," said Nomad, "I guess that takes care of all the loose ends." "Not quite," said Koala. "Because I was once with the Time Protectors I can sometimes sense changes in history as the past is changed. When that alien went back to build his time-jammer, it was because someone else had changed the past so that I had not had a chance to use my time-jammer." "And you sensed when these changes happened?" said Cappy. "Yes." "Hmmmm..." said Cappy, "about these Time Protectors, why didn't the ones from the other centuries step in to stop the Xoonakrone once you were gone? Why leave it up to this one alien?" Koala's eyes closed, as if contemplating a bitter memory. "Because the Time Protectors were destroyed, that is, they were prevented from ever coming into existence. The Xoonakrone somehow found out how to change things in the present day so that the Time Protector Council was never formed." "I... see," said Cappy. "You cannot imagine what a blow that was to me," said Koala, "when they suddenly weren't there. The temporal linkup to them was suddenly gone." "But why didn't you cease to exist when the Time Protectors did?" asked Redstar. "Because I was already here when the changes were made. It only affected what came after that moment." "So Sen Taru's space station was left," said Redstar, "and any other Time Protector establishments further into the past, just none from after four years ago." "Exactly," said Koala, "but the Xoonakrone attacked and destroyed all the remaining Time Protector stations in the past, however, most of the attacking Xoonakrone were killed in the battles, too." "Lucky for us..." said T4D. [Nomad Of Norad] Still another lull came. "Well," said Cappy, "I guess we should get at it." And away they went to return the kingdoms. TTTTTTT H H EEEEEEE EEEEEEE N N DDD T H H E E NN N D D T HHHHHHH EEEEEE EEEEEE N N N D D T H H E E N N N D D T H H E E N N N D D T H H EEEEEEE EEEEEEE N NN DDDD