"Time and Time Again" Alternate ending This is how the story originally ended, it is an unmodified capture-buffer of the messages. Notice that here the Xoonakrone are instead called the Fenechrone, see Afterward for details as to why. --NoN ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Message 50. Re: if at first you dont succeed ! Msg left by: Nomad Of Norad [20] Msg left on: Sun Apr 21 22:07:05 1991 >ok ..... >This time I'll take two alien weapons ...... >warn everyone to cover their ears ..... >(somehow !) >and try again .....gee , please forgive me for trying to find a simple >solution. >I'll know better next time . >oh yeah .....3....2....1........ (No offense intended, Kang. Just saw a good excuse for a bit of hilarity.) At that point, Kang picked up TWO of the aliens' weapons and carefully fastened them to the shutters. "Look at that!" said The Flip, "He's at it again!" "Oh no, not again!" said Zaphod Beeblebrox. "Eeeek!" said Gabrielle A-leen. Everyone scrambled for the nearest flying saucer and piled into it. Kang stopped a moment when he noticed this, and then resumed his task. When completed, he turned and ran with his hands over his ears, saying "Five...! Four...! Three...! Two...! ONE!" >>>>BAABAABOOOOOMBOOOOMTROOOMTROOOMTROOOMTROOOM!!!!!!!!!<<<< The explosion threw him to the floor. There was a marginal dent in the shutters. Meanwhile, inside the flying saucer, everyone was starting to get their hearing back. "Hey!" said Zaphod "Why don't we try using the flying saucer ITSELF to force the shutters open!" "Eh?" said Black Knight. "You mean as in pressing the flying saucer up against the shutters and applying thrust?" said Nomad. "Exactly!" said Zaphod. "Look!" said Sigmund, pointing to the display screen before him, "there he goes again! This time with FOUR weapons!" "Oh somebody drag him in here!" said T4D. And so they unceremoniously dragged Kang into the saucer, and then they flew it up next to the shutters. >>>SSSSSSSKUUUUHHHHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!!<<< The lower shutters were forced out of the way. Everyone poured out of the flying saucer and stormed into the control room beyond the shutters. Suddenly force wall came up around them. "Well," said the alien leader, "about TIME you guys got here! You are all just in time to watch us erase your world's past!" He motioned to one of his underlings, and the underling hit a button. On the big screen that dominated the chamber, a representation of the Earth appeared, with a vast number of the tiny dots covering all the continents. "What do you mean?" said Nomad. "I mean, specifically." "Glad you asked," said the alien. "If it means anything to you, the date we have set the machine on is late in the year 237 Galactic, less than a month after the asteroids struck Earth!" There came general gasps of shock and disbelief from the members of the Intrepid Group. "And the subjects I have locked onto, if you haven't already guessed, are all the survivors of the holocaust! They will be brought here, to this century. Earth will have been left UNINHABITTED!" He motioned to the underlings. "Activating," said one of them. Alien and human alike stared at the big screen, the aliens with relish, the humans with dread. But then suddenly there came a sound like an alarm, and the lights began to flicker. The aliens, looking surprised, became frantic at their controls. The lights' flickering became much worse, and then the force wall began to buckle and reform, buckle and reform. "There!" yelled Nomad, pointing. "Shoot the force field projection...!" BLKZZZAAAAPPPP!!! Kang zzzapped the module on the ceiling with his disruptor. The force wall went down and stayed down. Everyone fired at the aliens. * * * * * * * "The time-snatcher has stopped operating!" hollered both munchkins at the same time. "YAHOOOOOO!!!!" yelled Koala. "Shut down the time-jammer, but keep it on standbye just in case." * * * * * * * Sometime later, back at the munchkin H/Q, the Intrepid Group discussed what to do. "Well," said Sigmund, "first off, we should return at least some of the kingdoms to where they originally came from." "And the looted equipment!" added Nomad. "What all will that take?" asked Devastator. "Well," said Agent Thirteen, "we will need the flying saucers out to do it. The saucers contain the mechanisms to beam up the kingdoms, and thus to return them." At that point, the munchkin Wild Bill Hickup walked into the room. "Guys, we got trouble. We just did a check of all the bodies of the aliens. The leader is not among them!" "WHAT?!?!?!?" hollered several people all at once. "The alien leader is still at large," announced Wild Bill, calmly. "Search everywhere!" hollered Sigmund, T4D, Rob Rogers, and Chairman Mayonayse. [9:40] [B3: 1-50, Last=50] (?=Help): Message 49. Did gyre and gimble in the wabe! Msg left by: Nomad Of Norad [20] Msg left on: Thu Apr 25 16:01:54 1991 A bit later: "Well," said Agent Thirteen, putting his shoe-phone back on his foot, "they just did complete sensor sweeps of our H/Q and the former Fenechrone base. There are no Fenechrone in either place, alive anyway." His shoe-phone rang again. He slipped it back off and answered it. "Agent Thirteen...! You don't say! You don't say!" "What is it?" asked T4D. Putting his shoe-phone back on, Lucky responded. "One of the flying saucers is missing from the Fenechrone docking bay. They do not detect it anywhere in this pocket dimension of hours. Looks like the leader has escaped to come after us in an eventual sequel!" "AAAaaaack!" Said Nomad. "Please!" said Captain R/C, "we don't need any sequels to THIS tale!" They all stood there a moment. "Well," said Redstar, "I guess we can get back to the topic at hand." "Which is?" said Zaphod. "Returning the kingdoms and such to Earth?" said Nomad. "Yes," said Redstar. "I don't think we can return all the kingdoms," said Nomad, "which ones SHOULD we return?" "Well," said Sigmund, "definately mine." "And mine," said Rob Rogers. "And all those recently taken," said Cappy. "Uh..." said Redstar, "what about Oz?" "No," said Agent Thirteen, "I think we are all going to stay here. We like this place, now that we have captured it from the Fenechrone." At this point, Koala Bear joined the group. "So, what goes on?" "Hello Koala Bear," said Cappy. "We are just discussing the return of the kingdoms to Earth, and other little loose ends left in this story." "Speaking of loose ends," said Nomad, "what about... whatsiname, the supposed father of Nathan." "James Mentira," said Black Knight, standing to one side of the group. "He said he had cloned Nathan to destroy me," said Nomad. "Oh yes," said Agent Thirteen, "I remember that now." "Eh?" said Nomad. "How could you, you weren't there." "I mean, I remember the Fenechrone cloning a kid for this purpose. But we had access to their database and monkeyed around with the list of memory-RNA batches they dripped into him. One of them was one that would have allowed them to control him with... well, it was sort of like post-hypnotic suggestion only alot more involved. Well, we switched that one with another memory-RNA batch, one from a sort of super-agent." "Oh is THAT why he could do all those things!" exclaimed Nomad. "Terrific," said Redstar, "now we've got a six-year-old James Bond on our hands! Couldn't you have chosen a different one?" "Well," said Lucky, "we had to choose one with a similar catalog number to the one we replaced." "Ah," said Nomad. "I just hope he doesn't become hard to restrain due to this..." After a short lull in the discussion, Nomad turned to Koala. "Tell me something, you have been acting a little odd lately... uhm... were you, perchance, part of Sen Taru's group at one time?" Koala stood there a moment, as if weighing the response before saying it. "Uh... yes, I was." "Were you, by chance, Sen Taru himself?" said Nomad. Koala's jaw dropped. His astonishment was obvious. After a moment, he said, "Yes. How..." "Well, I kind of guessed, since you not only knew how to operate the full senses playback device, but how to assemble that time-jammer device, and the proper codes to open up the craft it was in." "Yes," said Koala. "I don't understand," said Redstar, "how can he be Sen Taru, when we know Koala has a history that dates back to before Sen Taru vanished! Are you saying that his past was fabricated in the records?" "No," said Koala, "I was timewarped." "Oh no!" said Redstar. "Not MORE time travel plots!" "I crashed on Miridon, and my life as Deavin Ramas started then." "Not as Koala Bear?" said Zaphod. "I changed my name to Koala Bear after a teleport malfunction with a koala made me like this, but that was later." "I see," said Zaphod. Another lull in the discussion came. "Well," said Nomad, "I guess that takes care of all the loose ends." "Not quite," said Koala. "Because I was once with the Time Protectors [?] I can sometimes sense changes in history as the past is changed. When that alien went back to build his time-jammer, it was because someone else had changed the past so that I had not had a chance to use my time-jammer." "And you sensed when these changes happened?" said Cappy. "Yes." "Hmmmm..." said Cappy, "about these Time Protectors, why didn't they step in to stop the Fenechrone? Why leave it up to this one alien?" Koala's eyes closed, as if contimplating a sad memory. "Because the Time Protectors were destroyed, that is, they were prevented from ever coming into existence. The Fenechrone somehow found out how to change things in the present day so that the Time Protector Council was never formed." "I... see," said Cappy. "You cannot imagine what a blow that was to me," said Koala, "when they suddenly weren't there. The temporal linkup to them was suddenly gone." "But why didn't you cease to exist when the Time Protectors did?" asked Redstar. "Because I was already here when the changes were made. It only affected what came after that moment." "So Sen Taru's space station was left," said Redstar, "and any other Time Protector establishments further into the past, just none from after four years ago." "Exactly," said Koala, "but the Fenechrone attacked and destroyed all the remaining Time Protector stations in the past, however, most of the attacking Fenechrone were killed in the battles, too." "Lucky for us..." said T4D. [50:02] [B3: 1-50, Last=49] (?=Help): Message 50. Re: Did gyre and gimble in the wabe! Msg left by: Nomad Of Norad [20] Msg left on: Thu Apr 25 15:30:50 1991 Still another lull came. "Well," said Cappy, "I guess we should get at it." And away the went to return the kingdoms. TTTTTTT H H EEEEEEE EEEEEEE N N DDD T H H E E NN N D D T HHHHHHH EEEEEEE EEEEEEE N N N D D T H H E E N N N D D T H H E E N N N D D T H H EEEEEE EEEEEEE N NN DDDD [50:06] [B3: 1-50, Last=50] (?=Help):