"Seeing Double" (Occurring during and immediately after "BoardQuest") by Nomad Lurang, the Great It was the middle of the first month of 1985. A young man in white walked down the corridor of the Contributors section. He had been assigned to mark off the pit.... The Watcher was his name, but he was known by other names as well.... He was pulling a red wagon behind him. In this red wagon was a giant red magic marker, a sign that said "DANGER: GAPING PIT!" in designer colors, a warped record labelled "Music to Mark Off Gaping Pits By," a broken record player, and a cracked fromitz board that had been put there by mistake. He stopped by the pit and pulled out the magic marker. With some effort he managed to pop off the top (which promptly fell into the pit, at which point The Watcher simply shrugged). He went around the pit, drawing a big red circle. Then he started to prop up the sign. A flying saucer, on top of which was a matching flying teacup, flew out of the pit. In the teacup was a dark-clad figure. The flying cup-and-saucer landed nearby and the dark-clad figure got out. "Hello!" said the figure, who had a strangely familiar voice. "What an unexpected surprise!" The Watcher looked over at him. The figure wore a black skin-tight hood that matched his black skin-tight gloves, his black socks, his black shoes, and his black shirt, pants, and belt. The Watcher did not recognise him. "I expected to have to search the whole Castle for you," added the figure in black, "but I found you as I entered!" He took off his gloves. "Who are you?" asked The Watcher, turning his attention back to setting up the sign. "I am your replacement!" the figure declared; his, voice The Watcher suddenly recognised, was his own! "I am the new Nomad Lurang!" "Not if I can help it!" said the great , whirling back around to face the dark clad figure. The figure had now removed his hood to reveal a face identical to that of The Watcher. He shoved his gloves into the hood and tossed it into the cup-and-saucer. The great turned and dashed towards the exit. He was going to warn the SYSOP. The Doppelganger pulled a BREAK-key from his pocket and pointed it at Nomad. A red blur that was very much unlike tomato soup shot from the BREAK-key. The red blur struck Nomad in the back. He went sprawling across the floor in a very melodramatic way and the Doppelganger dragged him back to the pit. As he shoved the great into the pit the great recovered from the effects of the BREAK-key just in time to wrap his arms around the Doppelganger's legs. The Doppelganger threw himself to the floor and Nomad, losing his handhold, plunged into the Realm of the Great Nonsense... "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo...!" screamed the great as he plunged towards the technicolored river below. With a loud SSSSSSPPPLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHH the great hit the polka-dotted waters of insanity. He hit the mind-searing fluid with so much velocity that alot of it spewed out of the pit and went high into the air. That which went high into the air went through the ceiling as if it weren't there, without damaging it. (Amazing stuff this fluid! Ed) It went SO high into the air in fact that it nearly knocked the old Starship Enterprise BBS out of orbit! The next thing Nomad knew he was trudging towards the shore on the same beach that Sam had been (though at this time he was unaware Sam had been there). The beach was now purple with yellow stars. He climbed out of the polka-dot surf and noticed the strange box that changed colors faster than a slot machine changes suckers. He headed towards it thinking it might afford a way out. At least he might could learn something useful from it. He stepped inside and found nothing but one of those gawdawful one-piece L-Cheapo phones that AT&T warned us about. He made a face when he saw it but picked it up to dial and heard "Sorry, that number is busy!" "But I haven't even dialed yet!" "Well, whatever it is you were going to dial, it's busy!" "How can you tell?" he retorted. "It doesn't matter, I just know." "They ALL aren't busy, are they?" "No...just the one you---" Nomad slammed down the phone (which promptly fell apart) and stepped immediately out of the tiny building. "Well well well!" came a female voice from noplace, "a new victim!" "Victim?" enquired Nomad, whirling around to find the source of the voice. He didn't find it; instead he found a man with a tape measure who was literally sizing him up. The man then ran off. A gorgeous lady wearing garments made from a printout stepped from behind a technicolor dune. Nomad decided the voice he had heard belonged to her. "Who was that?" he asked. "Why was he measuring me?" "We have to fit you for a designer straight jacket." "Designer straight jacket? They make designer straight jackets?" "Sure!" "Why must I wear a straight jacket? I'm not nuts." "You will be before you leave here." "Oh," said Nomad as if she had just given the time of day. He turned and gazed off towards the green sky for a moment. Suddenly he turned and bolted out of her sight faster than light. `Whew,' thought Nomad as he slowed down 823 footfalls later, `that was close! Now for a way out.' He wandered across an open area. Ahead the loudly colored dunes seemed to be less frequent. Presently he came to hard rocky ground. `What IS this place ANYWAY,' thought Nomad to himself. A rock waved to him and he waved back. `The SYSOP gave me that sign,' thought Nomad, `and told me to mark the hole with it...' An albatross flew by on wings of glossomer newspaper. `...but he didn't tell me why the hole was hazardous.' `How quaint,' thought Nomad, watching a flower run by. `Oh well,' he thought again as he stepped off into more sand, `SYSOP must have had other more pressing things on his mind...' A teeny-tiny stormcloud drifted by, cartoon lightning flashing underneath it. From it, raindrops kept falling on the head of a tiny dancing man, who was singing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." The cartoon lightning reminded Nomad of some Users whose modems had been burnt out by lightning. They had accused Scott Segura of the deed, for some strange reason. It was, of course, entirely unfounded, but they blamed him anyway. The cloud passed out of Nomad's sight. Suddenly, like gallons of spilled dlortfi sauce (an obscure, wildly colored dish that tastes like a cross between cream of pudding soup and stroganoff souffle and is served mainly at the Inn of the Flaming Dog -- Ed), a change rushed over the sands and dunes and flashed by Nomad. The desert changed from purple with yellow stars to magenta with blue stripes. As he stopped to consider this strangety, a huge mouse ran by chasing a tiny cat, an iron frog came swimming through the sand, and a tap dancing skunk-ape came by singing the Hyperdimensional Bookworm's Anthem out of tune. Nomad shrugged and went on. Presently Nomad came to more dunes. As he got out into them a dense trail of footprints in the flashily colored sands caught his eye. It must have been left by the local hack-pack. He backtracked the hackpack track and soon found a half-track. He climbed into it and saw that it was out of petrol. (Great! Hackers are magnificent at invading computer networks but are terrible when it comes to keeping the tank full!) He backtracked the hack-pack's half-track's tracks and after a great while came to a group of desert vehicles and a pile of the hack-pack's backpacks. Nearby was a small cylindrical metal building. He entered it and smiled when he saw what was there. It was a transporter room left over from the ill-fated Starship Enterprise BBS. Although it was possible some other party had added this to the Nonsense realm software, Nomad assumed it was the Hackers. He also assumed Roger Bahadur had no idea it was there. Doubtless as soon as Roger discovered it, it would be deleted. He stepped up to the console and checked the coordinates-display. It indicated the transporter was set for a clearing outside Elsinore. He pulled the three slide-levers and dashed onto the transporter pad. "Hello there," a voice said in the darkness. The voice seemed to come from everywhere, and nowhere. "What happened," Nomad heard himself ask, "I was beaming over to Elsinore." "It appears something mysterious has happened!" the voice said playfully. "As if I hadn't guessed," said Nomad under his breath. Spread evenly everywhere, all around him, a dimness began to replace the dark. It grew lighter every moment. But now there was fog all around -- a very dense fog -- though it did not feel muggy here. "Where am I?" asked Nomad. No answer came. As the light became brighter the fog began to clear. Nomad trudged forward down a narrow road. Soon he saw a signpost up ahead, it read "Your next stop, the Twilight Zone!" Nomad was not amused. Nomad was walking in the central section of the 'Zone. The place was nearly empty. Beside him walked the co-SYSOP, Spankey Bes Here. "You know," said Spanky, "some of the Users have a weird belief. They believe that there is a parallel world out there where places like THIS," she spread her arms out to indicate the 'Zone, "only exist as something called a `program' inside something called a `computer' connected to something called a `modem' which is connected to something called a `phone line.'" She stood there a moment, contemplative. "But it's all a bunch of bull as far as I'm concerned." She turned to Nomad. "What do you think?" Nomad simply shrugged. Actually he was one of the Users that believed in that other world, but he wasn't going to tell HER that. "Have I already been here today?" asked Nomad. "What do you mean...?" she asked. "Shouldn't you know?" "Humor me....Have I already been here today?" "Actually... come to think of it... yes!" "Damn!" said Nomad, and immediately slapped his hand to his mouth. "Did he cause any trouble?" "No... What do you mean did HE cause.... Oh, I see! You've got another imposter!" "No," said Nomad," a `replacement!'" "Oh dear!" "Dreadful isn't it." "Nah... It might even be an improvement!" Nomad glared at her. "Only kidding!" "Ok." He looked around him once more. "Well, I gotta be going..." "Oh? Well, return soon and have a nice day!" "Thanks, have a nice one yourself!" Nomad crossed the drawbridge to Elsinore and stopped before Horatio. Horatio raised his hand in greeting and said, "Welcome Nomad Lurang." Suddenly he looked slightly puzzled. "Didn't you just enter?" asked Horatio. "I don't remember you coming back out." `Uh-oh,' thought Nomad, `my double is here!' He shrugged, turned to the scribe and gave his password. "Where's Joan?" Nomad asked. Trudging towards the Gaming Arena Nomad noticed a very actively busy group of people at a table. They were so very actively busy in fact that they failed to notice the very actively busy hack-pack that was very actively trudging about doing nothing in particular except very actively trampling the prize petunias and ignoring the tall stranger who was very actively doing nothing except standing beside the tall old statue that was very actively being tall and old. Nomad became very actively curious about the very actively busy group at the table and pressed through the hack-pack to approach the table. He discovered the very actively busy group at the table was very actively busy playing a game of metropolitan cubic pitfallers masterpiece mash-in zig-zag all-star reversable random ultra adventure. (Don't you just HATE it when they give games names like that?) He didn't have time to join in the game, besides, the rules were impossable to follow since they changed drastically every 90 seconds. He had more important things to tend to so he pressed back through the hack pack and headed towards the Gaming Arena again. A young man in black was in the dais with the king, queen, nobles, and Joan "Ophelia" LeClere. He had everyone's attention and was fighting with the SYSOP. His name was Nomad but he was not the real Nomad. He was Nomad's saliva-spewing image. "I DEMAND A HIGHER SECURITY LEVEL!" Nomad-in-black yelled. "I DEMAND YOU PUT ME IN CHARGE OF SECURITY!" "I DEMAND--" "WELL!!" hollered the real Nomad as he entered the gaming arena, "IT APPEARS I GOT HERE JUST IN TIME!!" The fake Nomad whirled around and stared wide-eyed and surprised at the real Nomad. The Doppelganger's face went white as a whitewashed white-pine tree and his mouth hung open wide enough for a squadron of flies to fly in, perform an air show, and do some sky writing (although none actually did so at the time). "Yes, that's right," said the real climbing onto the dais, "your attempt to dispose of me FAILED! You are NOT going to replace--" Suddenly the doubleganger dashed off faster than most road runners. "--me..." continued Nomad-in-white, suddenly talking to empty air. "AHA!! THERE YOU ARE!" yelled Nomad-in-white triumphantly as he ran down the corridors of UNF BBS. Nomad-in-black had been painting graffiti everywhere in the UNF. He was now in the midst of painting another graffito. Dropping the spray can he yelled "HOW DID YOU FIND ME!" "I READ AHEAD IN THE STORY!" answered the real Nomad as he got near the fake who suddenly took off running. Nomad-in-black crashed into a wall that read "If you aint Russian, your blood should be gushin'!" Apparently he hadn't been watchin' were he had been rushin'. His pants came undone and fell to the floor. He threw his hands over his black boxer's-shorts and started blushin'. "Alright!" said Nomad as the fake reached down and pulled up his pants. "You've got some explaining to do!" "Uh-uh!" said the false-one. "You won't learn a thing!" He glanced around for a quick exit but saw none. "Oh no? HEY SCOTT!!" "Yo!" said Scott Segura, barging in. "Our little copycat here doesn't want to tell us anything! Would you like to do something about it?" Scott answered by firing a bolt of lightning from his right hand. It struck near the doubleganger's feet. Startled, the false-one jumped back two feet and hit the wall again. "Talk! Who sent you! Are you the same person who impersonated me before?" "No... I am your replacement. That's all I'm telling you!" "Scott..." Zap went the lightning again, closer to the false-one's feet this time. "I'm not talking!" "OOH yes you are! You either talk to US or you talk to the Doc over at CommHex! I hear some of HIS interrogation techniques are INHUMAN!" Scott, looking around, asked, "Uh...where's the SysOp of this 'board?" The false-one smiled gleefully. "I put him in an endless loop!" "Back to our discussion now," said Nomad, "who sent you!" The false-one simply leaned back smugly, mouth shut. "We aren't learning anything," said Scott, "let's go ahead and turn him over to the Doc!" Suddenly there was a flash of light, not from Scott's lightning. Scott and Nomad, surprised, on impulse glanced around for the source of the flash. At that moment the Doppelganger decided to make a break for it and dashed right by them, pushing aside Roger Bahadur who almost dropped his camera (which is where the flash came from). The Doppelganger ran madly down the road outside. He wasn't ABOUT to let himself be caught when he could still do some damage to Nomad's reputation. Perhaps, he said to himself, it is time for me to lay low for a while. The old Heath BBS would be the perfect place! Nobody ever goes there! Suddenly green bars appeared right in front of him. He crashed into them and howled in pain. His pants fell to the ground again. He pulled them back up and fastened them again. Looking around him he saw that there were green bars on all sides of him. "Didn't think you would get AWAY did you?" said a lad walking up to the cage. He wore a green skin-tight costume that had a lopsided green lamp printed on its chest. He breathed onto his little green ring and polished it on his sleeve. "No, Brad Castle, I was just running for the fun of it." Brad glared at him for a moment, annoyed by his deep sarcasm. By this time Scott and Roger had gotten there. "Where's Nomad?" Brad asked Scott. "Uh... releasing the professor from an endless loop." "Say Scott, have you thought of getting a super-hero costume?" "Maybe.... but not made by the one who made YOUR threads." "*I* made it!" "I suspected that." Brad gave Scott the evil eye. "Well," said Roger, "I'd better go develop this picture." "Yeah, thanks for warning us before you flashed the photoflood," Scott said sarcastically. "Hey, it was an historic moment!" "And if it hadn't been for Greeny here, Doublestuff would've gotten away!" Roger stormed off. "See?" said Nomad to the professor. They stood before the system monitor-screen on which could be seen three people, one in a green cage. Professor had refused to believe it wasn't Nomad who had looped him, but the proof was right before him on the screen. Suddenly there was an explosion in the cage. When the smoke cleared, the false-one was gone! The Doppleganger was never seen again. It was not ever determined where he came from, or why he was here. Nor was it known if he had actually self-destructed, or if he had simply gone somewhere else. Who knows, he could, even now, be hiding out somewhere nearby, waiting to return. Be on the lookout! THE END! (Or IS it?)