**************************************** The following is the chronicle of the second dimension trip, June 2, 1985. It was compiled from communications on Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood BBS. (So why wasn't the first one chronicled? Don't ask me!) **************************************** Omicron strolls aboard the ship Space Ranger borrowed (his had New Coke set free in it). After inspecting the horizontal broom closet (with a waterbed) which is to serve as his quarters (as well as Spankey's....), he walks to the command deck. "Everything ready?" "Yeah," comes the reply from just about everybody involved (especially Night Watcher, as he's had his seatbelt on for a couple of hours now). "Okay, let's go." And so we do. (Right about now we're on interdimension 95 [I95], in dimension 36. Dimension 69 turnpike ought to be coming up pretty soon, but it's up to the navigator to tell us about that....Ffej?) "huh, wha?" was Night Watcher's first words, "What the... Why didn't anyone wake me up?!!!" Oh Wow! Dig these controls... () what does that button do? () (=== (*push*) "RED ALERT" "MAIN POWER CIRCUITS" "ARE OVERLOADING" "You!!! &#%" cries Spankey... "You just hit the G-spot!!!" G-spot: Gravity accelerator (*) (*depress*) THERE!!! back to normal!!! Except for, *Night Watcher* Bozo is the Onboard Good Humor Man. Commander Omicron begins growing impatient..."Well, Ffej? Where are you? We don't want to miss that turnpike. We'll end up in dimension 93 if we do." He then turns to Night Watcher. "Sorry 'bout not waking you up. And don't play with the buttons. The one you pushed causes the molecular breakdown of every female within fourty-five parsecs." (I know, I know..."fourty"-five...!) Bozo comes out of the lavatory with a cart and several signs attacted to it with Johnathan Winter's picture on them. "Yo! Clownie! Gimme a chocolate!" Executioner orders. "Comin' right up!" Bozo replies as he takes a melted stick of slop out of the cart. "What in THE heck is this?" Executioner demands. "Chocolate. Well, there was this little accident and, see, I left the cart in the boiler room and I guess it overheated or something...here let me..." "No, no, no...Plug it in and when they get solid I'll buy one." "Okay." ZZZZAPPP, "Ouch! Plug in the CART not the STICK I'm holding...what are all these bare wires for, anyway?" "Oh, these are REMOTE CONTROLLED Ice Cream sticks...see, you can change the flavor from over at my end," Bozo says as he starts pushing buttons and the slop changes colors. "Hmmmm..." Executioner says as he takes a slurps some of the slop into his mouth. "STOP! YIKES! Don't EAT that while it's changing- Ah, too late. Now, go look in the mirror." "AAAAAAUUGGHHH!" Executioner screams as he sees the great big purple spot surrounding his mouth and teeth. "What in THE-" "Pigments. You put it in your mouth while it was changing colors and the atomic-pigment alteration module changed your face color because your skin must have been touching a bare wire." "Well, WHEN WILL IT WARE OFF?" Oh, no problem...just put the wires in your mouth and I'll change it back," Bozo says as he begins laughing hysterically as he changes Executioner's face color to every possibility in the spectrum. Bozo's makeup starts running so he quits, goes into the lavatory, takes it all off, and normality reigns... And Sweet & Sour vaporizez out of this air. " Hey, where is Spankey? I have some info for her." " She is in one of the cabins..." stammers Night Watcher. "Where is Omicron then?" demands S&S. Everyone looks at one another and then they all begin to laugh. AND ONWARD WE GO...ZIP....ZIP! Pulling up alongside Spacerangers heap roars an interdimensional Am-trak. It gains speed and passes the pitiful little dimension hopper and just about puts it in a tailspin. The destination sign reads ***************************** * DESTINATION -- 69th dim. * * YOUR CONDUCTOR -- Dr. Rpg* * E.T.A. -- before yall do!* ***************************** In the conductor's seat rides the above mentioned person ^ . For some unknown reason he has a smirk on his face. He puts it into 3rd and leaves the other ship in the dust. He disappears from sight. All of a sudden. From behind Omicron's ship comes the wail of a siren. From your rear-view mirror you see a cop signaling the ship over........ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All those wishing to catch ride on the Rpg super duper deluxe model EZ A number one neato awesome interdimensional hell on wheels train, then the next stop for passengers will be at dimession 48..... Meet me there........... Omicron struggles out of the painfully (yet pleasantly) cramped sleeping area. He stands and stretches. At that precise moment a pinhead borrowed from the Hex approaches. "Commander, we just got pulled over. And everyone's leaving for Dr. RPG's hell on wheels Interdimensional Amtrak." Omicron says something that, were it on the Gong Show would have a gaudy gold and orange OOOOPS! over it, then pulls out a small black box. He presses the single red button. Moments later outside of the "wimpy little dimensional hopper" appears the majestic, impressive ultra-neato Starship Ladykiller. The Ladykiller opens her landing bays and draws the "wimpy little dimensional hopper" inside with a tractor beam. Omicron strolls onto the football field sized control deck and says, "Now THIS is the ONLY way to fly." Moments later they are in the 69th dimension. "Fly the lewd skies........" "My ship is one of the best you can buy." After the incident with the cop Space Ranger looks over to the Executioner and says, "Should we put it into second gear?" "Sure, why the heck not," and with that the ship soon passes RPG's Amtrack with no problem. "Let's open them up to full," Space Ranger orders. And with that Space Ranger's 'little piece of junk' passes the 19th dimension and turns around and lands with half an hour to wait for the Amtrack and fifteen min. for the other ship. While all this has been going on, the Iceman, forever cool, has been sitting in his personal quarters with a bottle of Jack Daniels. He wakes (with a splitting headache) to find that we have arrived in the 69th."Where the hell are we?" he groans. He is answered by a blasting whistle (which did wonders for his newly acquired hangover) and Omicron announcing their arrival. He stares at everything around him and decides he definitely needs some black coffee. Unfortunately, his thoughts are interrupted by Omicron calling all passengers to the upper deck. With a groan, he goes to meet the rendevous. Shadowspawn is still asleep in his personal quarters as well. Still sleeping off the ill-effects of a coon hunt followed by a heavy dose of partying the night before he awakes to find himself buried under a mixture of beer cans, bodies(carefully smuggled aboard-ed) half full whiskey bottles,and broken Motley Crue albums and Iron Maidens as well. When he hears Commander Omicron's order for topside assembly he opens one eye,looks at the speaker/intercom and falls fast asleep Waking up from a sudden bounce from the landing, Night Watcher puts 20 packs of Acalsetzer into a bottle of 2 liter New Coke. * * () * :; [======] I I I.,.,I I I I I IOO OI I OOO [====] (Plop Plop, Fizz, Fizz,.......) He brushes his teeth and gurgles. "kKJKLKJKJHGGTRTUTYTFGF" (sound you make^^^^) Heads off into the entertainment room and flips on INSPECTOR GADGET!!! "Someone break their legs so we can get on with this..." As soon as most people are assembled on the top deck, Omicron says, "Well, how is that for travel? Seems Space Ranger's ship got here fifteen minutes before us. Wait 'till I tell him we still haven't started our engines." Omicron then proceeds to tell everyone about the 69th dimension. "This place is called the 69th dimension for more reasons than one. The main reason is, of course, because it has 69 available directions. The other reasons, well, figure 'em out for yourself. I would like to warn you at this point that certain manuvers may prove painful if you pick the wrong set of directions to move in. Human bodies weren't meant to fit together in some ways..." With this simple speech ended, he dismisses everyone and goes back to his room (the one with the waterfloor....). About an hour after most everyone arrives, two forms are seen falling from the sky. Here they come....... 250 feet.......150 feet......100 feet.. ....75......69!........50!......30... ..........15.........9......6....3... ....2....1....Splaaaattttt!.......... ....-1......-3.....-6.......-11 feet! ......Silence.....Suddenly (gasp!)... the two shapes stir and climb to the surface. Omicron looks at the two and says, "Ahhh...Por...er, Fornax! How did you get here?" Fornax looks up and replies, "Well it wasn't easy! First, I was sitting there wondering 'What happen' and I went through another time warp of some kind. When my trusty ride here saw the ships go by, we tried to follow but 29 seconds later We were picked up by the HOG! I had to stay in total darkness for a while before I regained some of my senses. Then I had to figure out how to get back to where I was so I fooled around in the sauna of the HOG for a while. Next thing I know, I'm out in the darkness of space and here I am now! Oh...By the way... I think I found another way you can go in this dimension....You can go down (Hmmmm....going down...)!! Oh...Where are my manners? Hullo everybody!!" As exploration parties go around the general area of the Ladykiller to scout the surface for wandering purple grues, they spot past a hill a rather strange looking ship with flashing blue lights appropriated from a K-Mart and "Born to Loot Planets" painted on the side. Suddenly Dr Strangehack pop opens the hatch, looks at the landing party, and growls, "O.K., what is your favorite color?" One of the pinheads (this being a pinhead exploration party) looks at the other and then says "Blue" in a loud voice. "Wrong! It's Red!" shouts Dr Strange hack, and a three-barreled AwfulHurt EnergyBlaster cannon pops up out of another hatch in front of him and turns the pinheads into swiss cheese. "Aww, why'd you do that? My favorite flavor's mozzerella!" cries N.Watcher, who was a little bit tired of having his seat belts on for a week. Far Antares Space Patrol on the lookout for the access to the 666th dimension Brigadier-Flyer F. Strangehack Omicron tolerates the swiss-cheesing and general ruining of his ship and its passengers for only so long. He then gets on the PA system and says, "OK. THAT WILL BE ENOUGH OF THIS. WE HAVE TO GET ORGAINIZED. EVERYONE MEET IN MY ROOM. THE ONE WITH THE WATERFLOOR. SPANKEY & S&S ARE ALREADY HERE. MARS NEEDS WOMEN, AND THEY CLAIM THEY NEED MORE MEN." Fornax comes running wildly downstairs and leaps into the room. "Ta-da! I am here." A moment later, everyone else does the same. (It's a very strong mattress......) Omicron has seen and been thru all of this before, so he goes into the hall outside. One of the pinheads drives up in the Ladykiller's main form of internal transportation, a Ferrari 408GTOi. The pinhead says, "Hey, jes' got word that the SysOp hates non-Euclidian geometry and dimensions greater than the third." Before Omicron can reply, the pinhead tears off down the corridor... "Go Greyhound and we'll vaporize ya" Commander Omicron So, everyone gathers in OMICRONS large room. Spankey is to his right (OMI be right handed and better on dis side) and Sweet &S is on his left (OMI be ambidextrious). All of the sudden a purple pinhead cums racing in to take revenge on Dr. Stangehack...he pulls out a TR375 megaterrainialhertzi brain stabber and lunges at Strangehack. CLUNK CRUNCH..is all you hear with smoke evolving from the brawl. Then the smoke clears and OMICRON looks astonished. Apparently he was raped by his leftie and rightie during the brawl and he was still at a hight of escasty...all he could say was... "Take em to sick-bay 12" Then he stood up and was ready to make his announcement.... "You take Delta and we'll Deck you!" "Space Ranger!! Someone beat MY hell on wheels super duper etc. etc. 4 in one Amtrak, dimension travelling, time machine, and bar and grill???" "When HELL freezes over bud...." "When you passed us you didn't see that big sign that said *************************** * --------------> * THIS WAY TO THE * * "TOP SECRET" * * AND VIRTUALY UNKNOWN * * SHORT CUT !!! * *************************** ********* ||||||| ||| ||| ||| ||| "You see, I asked Floyd on the Hex if he knew any secrets and he told me yes. Expensive though, running out of innocent virgin maidens... "Do you know how close to impossible these days to find a decent sacrifice......? what is this world coming to anyways..... -----> "fly ME or else!!!" <------ As the Iceman staggers into the room with the waterfloor, he sees the brawl, the double rape, and one other thing that he is too drunk to care about, and then sighs and says, "Such is interdimensional travel," takes another slug from his trusty bottle of J&D and awaits Commander Omicron's announcement. Space Ranger, upon hearing Omicron's announcment, half walks, half drags himself to the meeting. "Oh by the way anyone have any Coniac or Vodka???" "The only intellegent thing I see about interdimensional travel is the fact that the only things that seem to make it tolerable is beautiful women and Black Jack (all bow to the holy land of Tennessee....)." "Who the Tarnation said that" asks Spankey, who is still having a hard time reaching climax. "Awww...it's just interference,"Night assures her, "I think you're causing to much magnetic friction." Sweet and Sour leaves and heads off to the powder room. Night yells, "Wait for me!" Iceman...still half dead...collapses over the ships stick shift and puts it in Reverse. "You--You!!!" Omicron studders, "You just took up two hours!" "*hic* That's okay, I'll sleep over it." "Space Ranger?" Shadowspawn asks "YO!" "Let me borrow your gun...an inergalactic fly just went up my nose." Omicron is continuing to lounge lazily on his waterfloor. As he does so, a pinhead walks into the room. "Uh, Commander, we just got busted by Vice." Omicron mutters something that would get my password deleted, and rolls over and goes to sleep, hoping it'll all have gone away when he awakens. Meanwhile, outside the ship, the vice squad (not from Miami) plans on how they are going to bust into the Ladykiller, and what they're going to do with all of those nude people running around once they get there. At this point I think I should bring up that the traditional role of women in the 69th dimension is that of vice officers... "Ride the friendly guys...." As The Dr, sitting in the control room of his spacecraft the "Quantum- Looter"and wondering how even a pinhead could think he was aboard the Lady- Killer (mustof beat up a Lone Ranger toy by mistake) he notices action on ComScanner. Choking on his Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, he notices the female form of several SWAT vice squads surrounding the Lady Killer and ordering everyone aboard to put their clothes back on. Strangehack doesn't like this intrusion onto insanity, powers up the "QuantumLooter" and flies over the site at ultrasonic speed. All the vice-squad women's hair falls out and they flee in shame. The Dr. sighs, lands the ship on top of the hill, sets the MajorNuisance Defense systems on autopilot and pops a cassette of the Wall into the VCR. Spankey picks up the 6920 megahertz intergalactic reciever for intergalactic talking and yells, "HEY WONDA, GO TAKE YOUR WHIP AND STUFF IT!" Spankey turns to Sweet and Sour looking satisfied and walks off. Sweet and Sour sits in the captains chair (where is the captain?) relaxing and looking out at space. Just then she noticed a fleet of flying chains are cumming fast towards the ship. She tenses up and suddenly presses the red alert button. The naked passengers are alarmed and they all start to walk, run, crawl, scrape, jump, wiggle, slide, ride, fly up to the control room. It is then revealed.... Bozo awakens from the respite he had taken at the control desk of his newly purchased "Banana 860" Intergalactic Patroller to hear the alarms going off. Taking a look at the ComDar, he notices the radar dish upstairs had fallen off and is careming through space towards an unknown ship. Bozo enters reguidance coordinants and the chain-shaped object is trapped downstairs in the retrieval bay. Curiosity aroused, Bozo calls up a magnified picture of the ship and it turns out to be a KMC-2150 Galaxy-5, inhabited by naked people. Bozo turns on the ComPort and tries to contact the other ship, but to no avail. The ship hyperspaces into the darkness, and Bozo returns to the port bay via auto pilot. He goes downstairs to the lounge, plunks in a Phil Collins tape he'd purchased in the 36th dimension, and re-installs the chain-shaped object to the top of the Command Bay. A transmission then comes over the ComPort. "This is commander Wanda of the Whip snappers federation 99A. We herby prohibit the posting of any further messages concerning this, this...this FOOLISHNESS. If the subject currently being discussed does not turn towards synopses of William F. Buckley's Sunday afternoon interview program on PBS, we will begin to attack your fleet. No negotiations are possible, over and out," says the woman who turned up on the screen. Bozo knows he is in trouble, the transmission originated from a Librarian's office. Bozo replays a tape of the transmission and sends a picture to processing center on Port bay to find that it was Walinda, president of the Galactic society of librarians. The first thing Bozo does is contact Strangehack to prepare a defense. Strangehack assigns all available personell (Omicron, Spankey, and S&S being unavailable at the time) to battle stations. The now sober Iceman is assigned to the main battery guns, while the Executioner and Bozo are on the secondary guns. All others are positioned on the various defence mechanisms on the ship. They all await tensly the attack of the killer Librarians.... Bozo radios back to port bay from his Patroller. "Bozo Here- I'm attempting to penetrate the outer intelligence shields of Librarionia with a survaillance dish. I'm recieving the first audio from inside the building. It seems they're planning an attack on our sector six. Here comes the video- They've got a map- I'm transmitting a copy of it to you and it should be there in forty milliseconds. Prepare for audio-tie in." The group awaits the first audio from inside of the compound on the distant planet. Suddenly, a transmission crackles through. "Where are their bases?" "In sectors eight and nine, according to latest reconniasance." "How many infantry will we be sending in, commander?" "Six thousand troops will parachute to the surface of their port bay disguised as meat delivery boys. Inside their backpacks will be a single AK-255L Laser weapon armed with 70 rounds, plus extra battery charges. After they have infiltrated the compound's defenses, we will make a direct air attack from-" the transmission is cut short after a few minutes. Bozo then interrupts "I'm spotted, returning to base, I'll try to lose ' the bandits- I'm being tailed by six light cruisers- Prep-" and Bozo's transmission is cut short. In the ship, Bozo brings up full power and sends direct current to the rear auto-tail gunners. The shots are repeatedly scoring hits on each of the cruisers, and Bozo takes only one hit on the upper command deck by the stabilizers. He returns to port bay to see a quick change in defenses taking place... Space Ranger, after pulling his pistol from Shadowspan, runs( I think that is what they call it) to his ship. After listening to the last report he takes off and rises firing. "If I may ask, what intelligence are you talking about. I mean Wanda couldn't have planned this, she can't even clap her hands." And with that he orders the ships computers to begin firing. "Helllllllpppppp. I've found out who the people in charge are they are... ready for this people... Spankey's FPUs." "Wanna fight a real war? Can't with the popguns yall are using now.... First of all your ground defense is what's gonna do you in.... so I've decided to send in a "Few" reinforcements....." The planet shudders and the day turns to night as all look to the west of the head base of the enemy book mongers..... The dinochrome brigade charges in to the fray. 25 Mark XXVIII Bolo Continental Siege units absolutely fill the horizon. If you haven't heard of a Bolo Continental Siege unit, you don't want to know about them... The 50' high 100' long heavily armed Siege tanks accelerate to .4 mach and prepare to train all anitipersonal guns on anyone foolish enough to stay and fight...... well, so much for this base... A figure strides up and places his flag over the ruins of the once great public downtown library.... it reads ********************* * * * R P G -- * * * * Land renovation * * Co. * ******************** || || || || A plane flies in over the horizon, amidst battle and confusion. It lands on the strip, sets the onboard repair systems to normal fix, grabbs a gun, and joins the reinforcements. "Where are they coming from?" RPG asks Bozo. "Out over sector six. Here comes-" Bozo begins but is interrupted as a barrage of laser fire appears in a flash, and then vanishes, along with the plane. "You were saying, Bozo?" "Er...yeah...that was the Bolo Seige Units? Gawsh...I guess you guys 'll be all right, I'm getting back to port bay to help out the secondary defenses." Boz climbs back into the now-repaired ship and flies to port bay to join the others. After landing, he emerges, unarmed, and approaches Omicron. "I don't think we'll have to worry about getting killed, unless they attack from a rear sector, we're okay unarmed." "Whadda ya mean?" "RPG's got these Bolo Seige Units or something...com'ere- You've GOT to see this," Bozo says as he escorts Omicron to the downstairs video room. "Have a seat." Bozo says as he enters the large, furnished, air conditioned lounge. "Watch This." he announces as he plays a tape replay of the detonation. "Holy S*it. Sheezo. I guess we'll be-" Omicron is cut short as another detonation comes from a rear sector. The Librarians and FPU's combined forces had surrounded the tiny stonghold, with our only defenses to the east and within the port bay. After the surrounding of the dimension hopper's base by the librarians and FPU'S Omicron strides up to the main console. After punching up a visual he sees all the passenger's FPU'S coming in on a shuttle to converge with enemy HQ. Pacing around in a circle he ponders their predicament after calling everyone up to the bridge (leaving defenses on automatic)he says"Well we have 3 options open to us,1:surrender" (everyone laughs) "2:self destruct" (everyone thoroughly agrees not this option) "3:fight and kill the FPU'S and all the librarians."(mixed opinions but it's finally decided just to slap them around a bit) Just as everyone turns a blaring alarm goes off: Omicron turns,his face pale white "No..not..that!"he turns back to the passengers."Get ready,their attacking with strength I thought even they wouldn't use.....Kris Ponder!!' Everone looks at the screen and sure enough over the horizen comes Kris Ponder carrying a tray of..pizza's!! As Kris Ponder approaches over the horizon, the group scrambles to their defense stations. Bozo enters his ship, takes the elevator to the top deck with the largest of the MX22 laster blasters, and begins firing to destroy the oncoming attacker. Suddenly, a lone ship, with the word "NOCHANGE" inscribed brightly on it's portside, approaches. Enraged, Bozo fires repeatedly at the invader and destroys the ominious looking object. Ever since Bozo had been inflicted with -2500 points on the NOCHANGE board, he has held a grudge against the fleet of ships later acquired by the SysOp. Friend or not, all NOCHANGE battlements would be permanently removed. The firing on the pizza invader continues until it is destroyed. After the elimination of the deliverer, a fleet of at least one hundred ships from Libraria begin their attack. Paratroopers are being dropped all over the tiny port bay. One lands just behind Bozo's ship, but a grenade easily causes the soldier to cease his existence. There are at lease five hundred paratroopers, and the tiny band of defenders are nearly subdued when RPG's reinforcements abandon the outside post and began firing into the sky, destroying every ship in sight. However, the grounded paratroopers are nearly too much for even the Bolo's, and the group of dimension jumpers is clearly in trouble. Rpg disapears into one of the communication Bolo's and is lost from sight ... "Uh this is Doc. Rpg calling secret weapon 0961. Come in please..." "Yeah, watcha want Rpg. I'm in the middle of taking a bubble bath! This better be good!" "Well... we were doing o.k. til these paratrooper guys came in and now they're giving us hell!" "So you want some help eh?! Ha! Everytime you do coke you get yourself into these messes man! Especially since this new stuff came out... hey wait a minute, maybe I will give you some help. I just thought of something..." As the radio contact ceases, black objects coming from the sky can be seen converging on the FPU stronghold. As they get closer you can see that they are actualy B1B bombers on a bombing run. They fly over the base and heavy anti-aircraft fire takes a couple out but the bolo brigade gives them ground support and takes many of the guns out. THe b1b's deliver their bombs and fly off. The bombs hit various paratrooper pockets and a strange thing happens. Instead of fighting, the enemy just gets this dazed look in their eyes. They throw down their weapons and just kick back and watch the sky turn into multi-colored animals. The rest of the combined bbs troopers sweep in and slap em around a little and besides that don't really hurt them. This is prime-time you know! The bbsers are jubulant and think that it's all over. They are just about to go have a massive party when something catches their eyes. On a lone hilltop a figure wearing reading glasses and carrying a whip yells at them.... "This is not the last you'll see of me! I'll be back. And when I do, I'll conquer the 69th dimension including your lousy little outfit!!" "Is it over so soon?" Space Ranger asks. "Well,"Omicron replies," it sure looks like it." As Spankey soaks her aching feet into the soothing bubble bath, she feels a nip on her left BIG toe... "5H1T..That smarts" she yells. Night comes out of the restroom, just in time to witness that tadpoles have accidentlly gotten loose into the main water supply. Dr S comes along,"Ummm...do ya think she will get better?" Spankey looks at him with rage, "Just get those boogers off of ME!" "Where's the party at, RPG?" Bozo asked. "Oh, it's just about everywhere." "Well, I've gotta change these clothes...I'm going on back to my ship and take a shower before doing anything else. That flapil tar is all over my shoes, too. It's gonna start stinkin' in a minute. I'll see ya' over at Omicron's." "Sure." Bozo leaves to his ship, enters the access code for entry, and turns on a TV in the lobby. Howard K. Smith is on the air. "I'm Howard K. Smith and this is the Freedom Network. A group of BBS'ers from the United States have just successfully fought off invaders from the planet Liberionia and defeated repeated assaults by the FPU's. FN reporter Mike Donovan is there with the story." At this point, Bozo enters the elevator, goes upstairs, into his quarters and begins readying for a shower after turning on an upstairs set. "This is Mike Donovan at Port Bay, the home base of a group of Dimension Hoppers, recently attacked and nearly taken over by an enemy system. I'm here with RPG, who saved the day by bringing in reinforcement Bolo Seige Units. RPG, where did this units come from?" "No Comment." "And, basically, how do they operate. What kind of ammunition do they use?" "No Comment." "Can we see them in action?" "Yeah, sure. That ship over there has a video tape in the lounge." "Okay- We are now approaching, whose ship?" "Bozo's." "Bozo's ship for a videotape replay of some of tonight's action. We'll just ring the bell, here..." Upon hearing his name mentioned, Bozo jumps from the shower, tosses on some shorts and an old ELO T-Shirt, and answeres the door just as they are going to cut to a test pattern. "Bozo! Mike Donovan, FN news. We understand you can provide the views with an instant replay of tonight's battle." "Sure can, I can show you a little here, or send you the whole thing on a feed to...lesseee here...er...Satcom-6?" "Satcom-6...Satcom-6...I'm waiting for a response from New York...." "While we're waiting, here are some of the pictures. It'll take about three yaflixes for the feed to be completed. They've got to get through 69 dimensions." "New York's ready on slot four." "Okay, we're feeding. You guys can hang around here, we've got a ton o'beer in the cabinet over here, here's the controls, just mess around for a while, the valuables are all locked up. I'm going to Omicron's. Oh, by the way, are we still on the air?" "I'm not sure if we EVER were on the air. I think so, but I had a few belts before getting over here, so I dunno." <> "Er, yeah. Enjoy yerselves," RPG says. Bozo and RPG leave for across the street while the camera crew begin pushing all the buttons on the wall. Later, in a galaxy far away. Sweet And Sour is sitting there with her vodka and lime-aide, drinking it............waiting for somthing. As everyone is wandering over to Omicron's, those outside see a towering figure appear over the distant hills. Bozo points and exclaims, "My God! It's.. it's...it's the...the SysOp!" The figure continues to walk on as the users stand awe-stricken. After a short bit of time, the SysOp has come near enough for his footsteps to shake the ground. Everyone begins pouring out of their respective ships to peer up into the sky. The SysOp stops walking at about a kilometer off (Metric Week!!!), and says, "USERS, CUT THE CRAP." Somewhere a pinhead mutters, "I told ya so..." Somewhere else Omicron is looking out a window by his jaccuzzi saying to himself, "I think we'd best be moving out..." In yet another somewhere else (there's lots laying around, pull up a somewhere and make yourself comfortable), the various navigators are repeating to themselves the course calculations for the third dimension... "We is goin' home, people...."