"Chessmen of the Apocalypse" Part Four Late 2365 Galactic, early AD 1990 [Kang] [Title: the idol looks familiar] As Perfect bravely approached the strangely glowing stone idol he noticed some foot prints in the dust and sensed rather than heard the scampering of something behind the obscureing boxes. There was something oddly familiar about the statue .... [The Duke] Meanwhile, over in Russia, Duke and Prism are preparing for the launching of their nuclear weapons. Redstar (who has to be in Russia, he loves Russia) checks over the missiles. Everything is perfect and in working order. All we have to do is press the button and the whole universe will be destroyed. That way everyone will be dead and we can start a new story. [Vitali Kasmov] [Title: Wait a minute, you forgot someone] You can't forget myself, the omniscient Russian! [Prism] So, it was settled, the button was pushed and instantly the old story died wiping the slate clean and clearing the way for a new, bigger, and better story. [Julian Cope] [Title: The Saga of the Naked Blonde begins] It was a crisp, cool autumn day in the big city when a naked blonde walked into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She sat the poodle on the bar and the bartender said to her (with a grin), "I don't suppose you'll be wanting a drink." The lady replied... [Prism] And then Judd Nelson fell through the roof and it was never finished. NEXT!!!!! [Kang] [Title: Look ! Its eyes are glowing] Suddenly the scampering noise stopped , And a thin keening wail started only to be abrubtly choked off. The strange glow increased ....It was coming from the idols eyes. The ground gently rumbled. [Julian Cope] [Title: Naked blonde] Prism-- That is the point! It was never finished in the movie, so let's finish it here. Let the story begin... ...and she said. . . [Vitali Kasmov] [Title: ...and she said...] "Howdy partner!" [Prism] Keith [Kang]- I think your story is OVER! Vitali- I don't think that's what he's looking for. So, she says, "You're right, I won't be having a drink. I just wanted to show y'all what a blonde, naked woman can do with a 15-inch salami and a poodle. And, so she... [Vitali Kasmov] [Title: And so she...] She picks up the salami, but this is no ordinary salami. It's the Disfigured Radioactive Salami From Hell. Everyone in the room is poisoned and dies except for her, because she is wearing lead lingerie. Then.. [Prism] Then everyone ignored that last post because by definition a naked blonde cannot have on lingerie. [Vitali Kasmov] [Title: My Polish heritage is evident] OK, so it was invisible lead (newly discovered by the blond, who moonlights as a nuclear chemist). [The Duke] Then they throw Vitali Kasmov in an insane asylum because his stories are too stupid. [Prism] So, the naked blonde picks up the salami, smiles broadly and puts it... [Corsair] [Title: up your butt.] (Geez Prism and Duke. I thought Vitalli's posts were funny. Stop being so realistic. Let's get as loony as possible eh?) ...puts it through one ear and out the pulls it out the other. Of course, there is no one around to see this drink (since they are all poisoned and dead) so she goes to find someone who'll watch her gnu trick (and give her money so her accountant poodle can save it and invest in pork bellies.) [Vitali Kasmov] [Title: So she goes..] So she goes to a local Pic N' Save Cafe, where there is always a fun loving group. The trick is a big hit, and... [Kang] [Title: Romulan Lengerie] As the vibrations subsided the strange glow died from the idols eyes..... for now a soft moan was heard from nearby as the injured mutant struggled for its freedom . [Nomad of Norad] Perfect shook his head vigerously, trying to clear his head. He waved the others forward, took another step forward and... Suddenly a sniper leaps out of the underbrush, he raises his machine gun and fires at Commander Perfect and the rest of his platoon. They all duck, "hit the dirt," and raise their weapons to fire. The Viet-cong's bullets barely miss the men. Ltn. Nomad manages to shoot the Commy punk. The members of the platoon step up to the body and stand around it, looking at it. Behind them, leaves suddenly rustle, there is a slight metalic ping, and a black pine-cone-like object sails out of the bushes. "GRANAAAAAAAADE!!!!!!!" yells Cappy. Pandamonium. Cappy jumps on top of the granade. Everything goes to slow motion as Cappy lands on the granade and it explodes. Machinegun fire from the bushes takes everyone else out, they all twirl and twitch in slow motion, and fall very slow... Perfect screamed, looked around him. The other three people there seemed to be ok. Cappy and Devi came to stand on either side of him. He wondered what happened to Nomad and the others, then remembered that most of them were back in the ships, or trapped inside the force dome. He looked up at the stone idol, looming over him. [Corsair] [Title: corsair...] ...tires to figure out the combination between a salami and a stone idol..... [Corsair] tries....tries.....*sigh. Anyone give typing lessons? [Kang] [Title: the image flickers] {lame fix} As the red light dimmed from the idols eyes, the holographic image of the carnage and destruction flickered for a moment, revealing all alive and well but only for a moment. [Devastator] [Title: The world is ending] Aboard the ship, the occupants rerolled the tape of the sensor readings during the power surge and they show a massive powersource located below the temple. They attempted to radio through the interference caused by the dome. On the planet, Nomad heard through the radio, "Pow***So***Located****Und*** You***omend***u*****stroy." [Tracer] [Title: Whoa...what happened, dudes?] Can you guys try to keep one story going at a time? I'm getting confused... [Cody Lockett] ,..., But of course I am always confused, nothing really seems to me like anything is real, thus I no longer care and I am going to .... Have a Nice Day Don't jump to Ironic and too Plain. [Redstar] (I can't stand this new story crud. We had a good story going here for months and you new people have to ruin it. Try reading it for a while, then jump in when you get the hang of it. (That's what I did.) Entries should be of a decent length (at LEAST 600 bytes or so). Get involved in the plot. Flip: Help, the story's [going] to be ruined! It's still a good one!) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back on board Cappy's ship, Jennifer had returned aboard, and now had been basically forced into command of the ship. She climbed into the commander's chair, and powered up the computer systems. She knew priority one was to free the ships from the imprisoning red mist. "Activate. Set to binary audio link, maximum baud rate. Commence." Jennifer disabled the voice communications of the onboard systems so that she could link directly, using her vast computing power most efficiently. Her eyes closed for a few seconds, then she let off a tone, then began to transmit; the sound being a mere hiss to a human. Twenty minutes later she stopped, closing her eyes again momenarily, then gave the command, "voice link engage." "Transmit Jenn channel programme 1, link to Redmobile/Einny at programmed frequencies, match timing flux according to programme." The computer whizzed into life, performing the millions of calculations needed to communicate through the barrier. Jennifer programmed the onboard computer to transmit at full power through the barrier at specific frequencies and patterns conforming to the times when the force field weakened briefly. It took Jennifer nearly twenty minutes to calculate the weaknesses and put that into a programme to overcome the field, and transmit to Einny, the only ship in the fleet not within the field. Luckily Einny was sent into a long orbit beyond the planet's farthest moon. Hopefully Einny was still there; he was their only hope of escape. "Einny," said Jennifer, ever so softly and feminine, yet bluntly, "do you receive this transmission? Please comply, Einny/Redmobile ku214435,C44563." In a few minutes, Einny responded weakly, and promptly Jennifer uploaded the situation to Einny, ordering him to locate the source of the field, destroy it, and report when it was completed. Einny complied, of course, and settled into a high, geosynchronous orbit around the planet. Jennifer done with her tasks, promptly responded to her more liesurely programming. She headed over to Redstar's 'cell', and sat crosslegged over the barred hatch in the deck floor. "Ah, Jenn, glad to see you. How is everything?" "The situation will improve. I successfully made contact with Einny, and he is now tracking down the field's source. He should complete the task within one hour, 42 minutes, 39.123349 seconds, theoretically. Now, sir, may I join you inside the cell?" She went for the lock. "But Jenn, I'm dangerous! I may attack at any time." "I have been monitoring the inflicting entity on you, and it cannot penetrate the force field. You are safe - at least within the time I stated before." "I sure hope you're right, Jenn." Jennifer opened the lock, widened her dark eyes at Redstar, giving a smile. "Don't you trust me sir? I'm as sure as an atomic clock." "Well, your humour need a lot of work, but I would enjoy the company." Jenn sat down next to her creator, her legs propped up onto Redstar's knee. She raised her hand, and gently grasped Redstar's hand. Redstar ran his fingers about hers, still proud of how real Jenn seemed. Too bad she wasn't real, Redstar thought to himself. He found himself falling for the android, trying to decide if she was alive or not. Maybe he shouldn't have made her so real; he sublimilally was making a perfect woman for himself, down to her brown eyes and tone of voice. It was an obsession; an obsession revealing to himself how lonely he really was. But for now, Jenn was perfect. "Jenn, you're the best. I'd never give you up for anything." Jenn laid her head in his lap. She looked up at him, grinned, and said, "You made me how I am, and I am always grateful for it." Redstar got teary-eyed; she sometimes did this to him. She had no feelings, but there was just enough unpredictability from her, that you may believe she meant it. You had to love her if you met her, even though she was made of GaAs and sillicon-carbon crystals, rather than flesh and blood. They sat there in the dim light of the idle ship, in each other's arms, waiting for Einny to free them both. If it weren't for her liesure programming, Jenn may have found the caressing as unproductive and confusing, but as the time has been going on, the processors and hologramme memories had been building a personality on their own, and not even Redstar could explain it. It may have been comforting inside the ship, but what was happening outside must have been quite different; even inside the field the fighting could be barely heard. [Circa twenty messages, saying essentially "Hey! Let's get this story going again!" and so on, and how Redstar was gonna post a big entry, deleted] [Redstar] >[Quoting from those previous messages deleted] Hey! A lot has been going on lately! I'm waiting until I can tie up the phone all late night. My dad has been on call, and I cannot. But today's his last day. After I return from Orlando, I'll deliver. Oh, should _I_ end the story? I think I have a good idea for an ending. [Cody Lockett] You'll love this one, my pet Eguana has decided to type something on the board for ya: ,m.kj;gnhjoilu;tyg78iu6t2354 And thus enters a new life form to the Hex. Redstar, since you are the one who brought the subject up to end this story, you should be the one to end it entirely. [Nomad of Norad] Ah, but remember they still have to go back to CommHex and overthrow the usurper... and of course we have to find out why he went to such elaborate ends to gain control of the Hex. Is there something hidden in or around (or unnder???) the Hex that this guy wants? Maybe some Ancient superscience thingamahegger? [Sigmund Fraud] [Title: Well.... ] Somebody end it.....! [Kang] [Title: happy ending ] If you are going to end it, I hope you make it a happy ending. I love happy endings, but why are you going to end it now? No time? Pass it on to someone who wants it perhaps? [Cody Lockett] or whatever. We need to continue the story, but it also needs to end. [Sigmund Fraud] I donno, maybe we can incorperate all this discussion about the end....in the end. [Redstar] >[Quoting of Nomad's message about the plot threads to follow up on deleted] > Nomad: I'll look back on the stories, and kinda work on an ending. Just lately I have not had time to write it. But I'll end the story with the mages, the Hex, and of course the romanticism between Redstar and the beautiful android. [Redstar] [Title: Re: happy ending ] >[Quoting from Kang's last message above deleted] > Do you guys like mushy endings? No? Aw, too bad! Yeah, I'll do it REALLY soon! I just had to get back on track after my little trip to Orlando. I'll try to call back later today, ok? [Cody Lockett] Are you a sentimental slob or what. I have never met a human who liked an Android, especially one that has wires, But of course that is how the story has been going on, so I can live with it. Oh and Redstar, don't do anything to that Android that I wouldn't do to my Girlfriend, Hahaha. Redstar kissed the beautiful Android. The android felt the liquid on his lips and tried to push Redstar away, but she wasn't quick enough. The circuits of the Android fried and destroyed her She then Self Exploded ****BOOM***** The End [Redstar] (Well, guys, I was going to write this last night, at midnight, but some dweeb hogged the Hex all night! So, I'm going to take a stab at the ending, ok? Oh, Cody, the idea of the android WAS mine; it started when the Flip (I think) added something early in the story about someone named Jennifer was in the back of my car. So I built around it a story to cut all the science and seriousness; all stories should have a relationship, you think? Well, here's what I came up with; if I leave any holes, someone leave an afterward closing up what I missed.) _______________________________________________________________________________ [He didn't as much leave holes as misread certain story details. Actually, his having done so actually DID sorta leave holes. Anyway, here come my corrections, which I wrote soon after his entry, which now follows. -- NoN] [Nomad of Norad] [Title: And here it comes! ] Back outside the force dome, Devastator and Cappy began setting up bits of equipment from Devastator's ship. They began to assemble a sort of arch out of the stuff. "So," said Nomad inside the dome, "what is this thing going to do?" "It will allow us to create an opening in the force dome," replied Devastator. "Yes," said Nomad, "of course." He smiled as if recalling something. "You know, I saw something like this once on 'Dr Who.'" "Well," said Devastator, "it's assembled." The two stepped to either side of the arch, just behind it, and began to move it towards the force dome. "Everyone get out here!" he said, "it may only hold for a few seconds!" Everyone in the tomb-cum-refuge-cum-prison quickly emerged and clumped together near the place the arch would go in the force dome. There was a screeching noise as the arch touched the dome, then the area within the arch went from red to empty. The ones within quickly piled through the arch and ran like gazelles. Just after the last one, Nomad, got through the arch, there was a flash and sparks flew. The arch exploded into a pyrotechnic display and then exploded into little bitty pieces-parts. Then the force dome faded and vanished. "Hmmm," said Nomad, "guess they decided they didn't need it anymore, now that we are..." There came a loud oscilating hum from behind them. Another force field! "Look!" cried Cappy. "They've got our ships in force beams!" Indeed, there were mooring beams on all sides, completely enclosing the vessels and preventing lift off. Nomad switched on his suit's communicator. "Nomad to ships! You guys are now locked up in mooring beams!" "We know," came back Perfect's voice, "we are working on it!" "Nomad out," said Nomad. "Look!" cried Pla'anuk. He was standing before an obelisk. There were characters like runes all down the sides. On one side there was a picture of three imposing figures. Below was a sort of coat-of-arms, it had a pair of Staffs crossed, and there was a symbol of a three-headed mongra with its heads tied in a knot. "What does it mean?" said Nomad, quickly coming to his side. The other mages quickly joined them, their faces turning grim as they caught sight of the picture. "It is the identification glyph of a particularly dangerous group of renegade mages," said Verilox. * * * * * * * * "Ooooooh," said Redstar, "I wish this could never end!" "Well," said Jenn, "there is no trouble outside right now...." * * * * * * * * [Redstar (continued)] [Contains minor modifications] Outside the ship, there WAS trouble; the Black Mages decided to take a final stand and rid themselves of these `little niusances.' Their plan was nearly foiled, and they thought that taking vengeance on the sabeteurs of thier evil plans would make their cause not in vain. The idol's eyes began to glow red, then white. The intensity grew brighter, until all had to cover their eyes, as the brilliance had become brighter than the sun. Smoke also poured from the idol, and then the idol disappeared. As the light dimmed, three tall, dark figures stood seven feet high, silhouhetted by the dim lighting in the walls. Nomad looked up, and saw as the first figure came into view. "The Mages, " he whispered, swallowing his breath. "Oh, dear, this is it, guys. Take positions behind those, uh, `crates,' and get ready." Cappy was getting worried; these mages meant business. "Are the ships freed?" asked Alter. Perfect touched an area near the ships; it gave a light shock, and a light reddish glow gleamed momentarily where he touched. "Not yet. And without the ships, we're in it for the long haul. Also, this shield is keeping us boxed in here." Perfect armed his weapon, pulling on the ancient mechanism of the automatic shotgun. The head mage raised his arms. "You have troubled us for the last time. Pay the price! No one escapes the wrath of the Black Mages!!!" The last few words shook the room, and pieces of the cieling came crashing down. The mage waved his hands, and two very menacing wolves appeared. Both came to the group. Alter took one, and he was badly slashed in the arm and chest. Enduring the pain, he finally destroyed the creature with his bayonet. Alter retreated to a corner of the room; he was going to pass out from the injuries. Perfect blasted the other creature with two qiuck bursts, and the second hit the floor. Both creatures began to melt, and their carcasses disappered in a puff of white smoke, leaving behind the shells that slain the beast. All of the group began to open fire on the mages, and a few engaged in hand-to-hand battle, as most of the weapons were just making them angrier. The Black Mages just laughed, and even encapsulated Pla'anuk and Thx in a case of ice. Aboard the Perfect Ship, Redstar and Jennifer were sitting together, holding onto one another. When Redstar heard the firing outside, he jumped up, and proceeded to the weapons locker, where his battle gear was stored. He suited up, activating his tazer, sighting sunglasses, and body armour. Jennifer stood next to him throughout. "What are you trying to do, sir?" Jennifer asked. "I am going to end this whole ordeal, and save my friends!" "Sir, it is noble, but be careful; I care very much for you." Jennifer grabbed his hand for a moment, and gave a worried smile. Redstar smiled, and rubbed his gloved hand on the back of her head. "Don't you worry, I'll be back." He REALLY wanted to; he was intrigued on the fact that Jennifer was beginning to express care; he definately did not put that into her programming. "I'm going to wait until..." A voice appeared on the speakers. "Power source locked on. Prepare. Initiating..." Redstar hit the floor. "Jenn, take cover! Einny's going to blow the shield!" Jennifer hid her face in her hands, face down on the floor. A blast shook the entire ship, and immediately the links in to Perfect's comm; all transmissions had been blocked by the shield. "...move to the left! I'm coming, Alter! Don't worry! TAKE COVER!!" Immediately a blast from a fireball "spell" burnt most of the group; Zaphod and Spidey were burned seriously; they were near the Mages. Both hit the floor, unconsious. Zaphod and Doctor Depraived raced in to pull them back behind the cover. Then they noticed that the shield behind them is no more. Redstar opened the hatch, and ducked behind the doorway, laying chest down. "Jenn, begin to fire up the ship. We're going home soon." "Yes, sir. Initiating launch sequence..." Jennifer went to sit down in the cockpit, belting the five-point seatbelt. Redstar activated his tazer and glasses; the glasses' display read in the lower left, `ready.' "Status," he said into the small mike. `Power full... ready to target... no targets detected.' Redstar whispered, "Engage sniper mode." 'Sniper mode... ready. Set and lock target...' Redstar swung his rifle, so the crosshairs on the glasses moved onto the head mage. "Lock target." A vertical and horizontal green phosphor lines moved, cross on the Mage's figure, and gave a high pitched beep. 'Locked...' Redstar hit a button on the rifle, and it gave a quiet whine. 'Charging...cannon blaster enable...'. "This bastard's going to need a wee punch," he said to himself, "okay, the game's over..." Redstar pulled the trigger, and the tazer let off a zapping sound, and kicked back. A stream of energy hit the mage dead on, and whisped him slightly. Redstar still held the trigger, and the continuous blast of energy became stronger. In thirty seconds the mage flew back, and hit the floor, unconscious. The other two mages were astounded, and lowered their guard enough to be battered with an arsenal of fire; they let down their pseudomagic shields. Both hit the floor, and their bodies disappeared. Redstar rushed out of the ship, approaching the rest, all standing over the dead head mage. "Hope that did it," Redstar said. The tazer's out of power. If you believe it, I totally drained its fusion reactor cell. It's supposed to last for months, but in thirty seconds, it's gone." Cappy looked at him. "Damn, what the TANJ was that??? You blew over a wall, and knocked Zaphod thirty feet with the wind it kicked up!" "Well, a friend of mine is into plasma physics, and he is now working on ion cannon weaponry. This is a small model. But I think that this one's had it." The display, now very dim, read 'fuel cell drained...'. Behind them they heard the distinctable whine of the tubines activating on the Perfect Ship. The sound was beautiful to the group. "Care to join me, guys? I have arranged transportation!" Perfect smiled. "Strike up a cold one!" "...As long as you put the ship on 'auto', that is!" joked Nomad. Little did they notice that Pla'anuk and Thx were still encased in their frozen prison - and the movement from the 'dead' mage. Perfect and Redstar were talking, and all were heading for the three ships, all hovering down one by one, all remotely controlled by Jennifer 1. Suddenly perfect and Redstar hit the floor, unconscious, gradually being encased in a translucent shield. Both screamed in pain and mind-induced horror. "Thought you got rid of me, huh?" the mage said, standing - barely. "Give it up, you lost," Perfect yelled bitterly. He cocked the shotgun. The mage remotely pulled the gun out of his hand, grabbing it for himself, turning it towards Perfect. "Primitive...," and the mage put two shots into Perfect's knees. Perfect hit the floor, in great pain. Suddenly a high pitched whine was heard overhead, and immediately a brilliant blast of energy struck the mage, pushing him three feet into the solid rock floor. Wind gusts pushed all against the Perfect ship, and collapsed the cavern the mage was in. The ice enclosures all melted, and Perfect and Redstar were freed. Cappy's ship hovered in ten feet overhead, and Cappy came on all comms. "Thanks for the idea Redstar, guess that we have the same friends! I didn't tell you, but I have the momma version of your baby tazer, and I have the fuel cells to use it!" Cappy lowered the 'elevator', a small platform that gently hovered to lift a person to the ship. Spidey, Nomad, and Thx headed for it, and they entered Cappy's ship. Black smoke filled the area, and an omnious voice said, "You haven't heard the last of me! I'll be back! And I may not leave your precious Hex alone for long!" With that the smoke rose into a hole that formed in the clouds, and a ghostly figure rose. The clouds returned, and that was the last that was heard from the mage - for now, that is. All others headed for the ships, and departed this ghastly world, headed back home to the good ol' Hex. They had saved their home, ridding it of the danger of it, it ceasing to exist; the mage had placed in a fake Joe to close it down. But right when the mage was conquered, the real Joe, locked into another dimension, reappeared back at the Hex, not realizing that anything had happened, except for the fact that no one had posted in days. The three fake Joes in the Perfect Ship brigs also disappeared, leaving no trace. All the ships headed straight up, attaining orbit in seconds. All ships docked, and everyone had a celebration - right after all ships went into an orbit around the most distant moon; you can't be too safe. Soon afterwards everyone congratulated each other, shook hands, and headed into their respective ships. All had agreed on having a BBS party - just as soon as the injured comrades were healed. Perfect handed control over to Pla'anuk; he was going to visit Earth, too. Anyway, Verilox was capable of flying the RED 417 to Earth on his own. The ships undocked, and all but the Perfect Ship began their jump to ludicrous speed, through the transwarp channels. Redstar was a little depressed. He wanted to fly the good ol' Redmobile home. He hadn't took control of it for months, and he missed Einny. Little did he know that Jennifer sensed this, and had Einny dock with the Perfect Ship. Redstar was elated when he found out. He grabbed his gear, and ran straight for the airlock, saying goodbye to his comrades-in-arms. In the Redmobile, Redstar caressed the controls. He missed flying them so much. Jennifer buckled into the passenger seat. "Einny, set transwarp course for Earth; we're going home." "Roger...setting course...locking in...ready to warp." The engines began to whine, and the hum of the neutron genorators began to intensify. "Ready to engage in twenty seconds." "Make it so, Einny. Engage at time zero." Jennifer leaned over to Redstar, smiling. "You were wonderful, and you are wonderful to me. I will not give you up for anything. I love you, Redstar." She leaned over further, and kissed him. cD~Udx^{+q*s%r7VsL